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Thursday, 14 May 2015

Daily Prompt: The Clothes (May) Make the (Wo)man

How important are clothes to you? Describe your style, if you have one, and tell us how appearance impacts how you feel about yourself.

4.10.2013



Cow

If I was a cow I would have no problem with clothes. My only problem would be is there enough grass or hay to munch and water to drink and how do my earrings suit me. I would spend all day in the meadow munching grass and manufacturing pancake matter to house the flies that are searching for a home. As long as the milk production continues, I would have no worries.

Today I am a golden oldie only leaving home for shopping and certain walks. Shopping needs something practical. I do not need to be the queen of fashion when I pack my supermarket trolley with the chosen goods. I notice that the most important acquirement today are comfortable shoes. My feet seem to be doing unexpected things since I became 65. They develop strange outgrowths and expand. I always thought that the body expanded, which it does, but the feet go with it. It becomes increasingly more difficult to find nice shoes if your feet are size 42 (continental sizes). It often happens that size 42 is 41 according to the company that makes them.  On the other hand you might have to progress to size 43, in which case you are better off looking in the men’s department if an average Nike will do.

Shopping as a golden oldie for clothes becomes increasingly more difficult. The designers never seem to think of the expanding and stretching parts of a body. They are convinced that you still have a waistline at the age of 60. I can tell you, you do not. What is the point of hipster fashion, when you no longer have a hip. Hips travel North as the years go by and melt with the waistline, if you still have one, so the perfect solution is to wear a long top over the trousers to cover what used to be a waist and hip.

There is a good fashion at the moment known as tunica. It has probably developed from the so-called maternity dress which was used to cover the bump. I find these ideal. For me it resembles a longer blouse that you can wear over the trousers. Jeans are a life saver when your figure decides to expand, go South or North, East and West. They make them in all sizes by the centimetre. I usually go to the clothes shop and head for size 44. I choose and try. It is then that the big disappointment arrives. I cannot make the button meet the button hole. They are too far away from each other to match. There are various methods to help of course. Take a deep breath, almost suffocating, and try to insert the button, but your time is limited. You have to do it within a few seconds otherwise the chance has disappeared. If you succeed fine, but then you have to overcome the zip. It needs a lot of strength to pull it up and very often it decides to open again.

The solution is the next size, so I progress to size 46. Often this is the size I need, although size 46 is not always size 46 and so the carousel begins again. I have a registry office wedding next month, so my jeans and t-shirts will not be called for. Luckily I found a few rare models that fit which hide the voluptuous curves that my body has no acquired. The church wedding is in July and I am still thinking about that.

Oh to be a teenager again. The funny thing was that I was so unsatisfied. I was tall and slim and a Twiggy lookalike if anyone remembers the english model that resembled a walking skeleton. I so wanted to have curves, an hourglass figure and now I have curves which are all in the wrong places. The hourglass figure resembles a triangle with the point at the top. Internet is wonderful, we can write and no-one sees you and you can choose the photos you want to show. That was why I chose a cow. Who wants to look at me?

2 comments:

  1. Clothes to me are a necessary evil. i hate shopping to buy them. My usual attire is jeans and t-shirt with trainers. For work I wear white shirt/black trousers/black shoes

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