Followers

Thursday 9 April 2015

Daily Feline Prompt: If I had Fingers instead of Paws

If you could learn a trade — say carpentry, electrical work, roofing, landscaping, plumbing, flooring, drywall — you name it — what skill(s) would you love to have in your paws?



Fluffy's paw

“Fluffy, why on earth would you want fingers?”

“I could do all those clever things that Mrs. Human can do.”

“Such as?”

“Opening tins with a tin opener, and filling our bowls with food when they are empty.”

“Just a minute Fluffy, hold on. Do you want to make her redundant? If you could do all that, she would have nothing to do and she might even get ideas not to do anything more for us. After spending all our lives training her to fulfil our wishes, we will have to do it all ourselves.”

“I didn't think of that Tabby. You mean she would be sad if we opened our tins ourselves?”

“I am not sure about that, but we would be sad if she left it all to us. Do you really want to empty your cat tray?”

“Oh no, that is smelly work and a bit uncomfortable. I like to spray and it sometimes sprays too far.”

“If your had fingers, you would have to clean it all yourself. Collect all those clumps in a shovel and throw it all away, not to mention the recycling mass of vitamin pellets.”

“But she throws that in the toilet.”

“Yes she does, would you want to do it?”

“Not really, it smells.”

“You would have to fill our bowl with water regularly and not forget. Every time you want to go out, you have to open the window yourself.  Not to mention the hairball problem. Who cleaned it away yesterday when you were sitting on one of the human’s favourite chairs.”

“Mrs. Human of course. She heard the signals as we trained her and she was immediately there collecting the hairball. She even wiped my mouth.”

“So you want fingers instead of paws. We have a pawpad to order our needs on line and that works perfectly. If you have fingers, no more pawpad and then you will really have to rely on the humans for our secret needs. They don’t have to know everything. Just leave it as it is Fluffy, I tell you no good will come of fingers. Bastet knows why we have paws, read chapter 888, verse 66 “felines have paws for a reason, otherwise the humans will think they are superfluous, not needed and they will forget their duties and work for us felines. Never forget, we are the gods, they are the slaves.””

“Of course Tabby, Bastet is so wise and she thinks of everything to let us lead a comfortable life. Let us take a rest and sleep for a few hours.”

“The most sensible thing you have said today Fluffy.”


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