Tell us about a time when everything actually turned out exactly as you’d hoped. A further instalment of my drain story as Daily Prompt has become a non-inspiring prompt, a catastrophe.
When the drain exorcist arrived we were full of hope. Could he expel the spirit that had moved into the insides of our waste water system. We could see from the beginning that this would not be a simple job. First of all he knelt on the kitchen floor and made a few incantations. He opened the cupboard to find the source of the strange glugging noises our water disposal unit was uttering. Various steps had to be taken.
First of all the drain exorcist removed our garbage can with it automatic opening lid and then he had space. The next step was to take away the “u” bend beneath the drainage. The drain exorcist proudly showed us the murky depths of the water which poured into a plastic bucket. It was black, being the colour of most evil forms. It was then that a head reared itself from the bucket, only to be cursed by the expert. It dwindled into a shivering heap screaming “No, not that, please not that” but this curse of blocked drains was defeated. The expert then produced the magical water rod. This was the non plus ultra for dispelling drain curses. It washed the malevolent cause for the blockage away with water under pressure, after inserting 14 meters of this monster into the drain exit. This process took some time, but afterwards the black murky water curse had disappeared and the water was again flowing, something like the Niagara Falls. We have a sneaky suspicion that cleaning the cat tray was at fault. We have clumping material and probably a little too much landed in the discharge pipe, forming a solid block of unappassable matter, but this part of the work was done and now we now progressed to the hidden curse in the shower and bathroom.
This was not just a matter of plain exorcism, this was the real thing. With bell, book and candle you could not clear the drain of a shower and bath with a simple tube with compressed water spout. The exorcist informed that it must be done not by pushing but pulling and so he wheeled this water sucking machine into our apartment. This was the moment when I retired to a quiet room for a golden oldie rest, but unfortunately this machine was not quiet. Perhaps it was the mere resistance of the blockages of 15 years that retaliated with shouts and screams and cries of “No, not that”, but the drain man continued despite the resistance. Needless to say I did to have a quite golden oldie sleep. Even in my closed room I could hear the mercillous cries of blockages, not wanting to be released from they happy blocking life. However, after a further hour the bathroom and shower were unblocked and peace returned to our living space.
A further shock occurred when Mr Swiss signed the receipt for the work done. Every blockage in a drain, be it poltergeist, evil curse or just a plain drain devil has its price.
As you can see I was carefully documenting the work in progress. Mr. Swiss mentioned that it did not go unnoticed that a professional photographer was at work. I was armed with my DSLR Nikon camera. The exorcist asked if he should turn to let me have full front view of him, dressed in his exorcist uniform, but I told him it was more professional if we could see the actions of expelling the devil. He spoke a few secret mysterious incantations, again causing screams to arise from the dark passages of the drainage and continued with the work.
And so another normal day passed in the Angloswiss household. I would add that those demons of the drainage do tend to smell, but you cannot engage a professional necromancer without having to endure the negative side of the beast exorcism.
Actually I was going to tell about everything turning out as I hope when I joined the daily prompt. Unfortunately it is no longer as I hoped and has developed into a large repeating disappointment. I asked the drain exorcist if he could do something, but he recommended to do your own thing and hope that it might go away, He found drains were easier to handle than blogging sites.