Write a piece about a typically “local” experience from where you come from as though it’s an entry in a travel guide.
“Tabby, what is going on in my garden.”
“We are felines, so everything you see here is ours. You are allowed to live here Mrs. Human. We need someone to operate the tin opener, keep our cat tray clean and generally make sure that we felines lack for nothing.”
“Tabby, you are avoiding the question. What is that sign outside?”
“We wrote it in human Mrs. Human, so it should be quite clear. Why should the subordinate dog species have dog parks. Fluffy and I decided that we would organise the first feline park.”
“You mean I will have all sorts of strange felines in my garden.”
“Mrs. Human it is a question of organisation. We have marked the area to be used. On the left the felines will form a queue awaiting entrance. Fluffy will take the entrance fee. On the right we will leave the lawn as it is for a comfortable resting place. We felines need a certain time for recovery after the exercises in the feline park. Over there, between the bushes we have decided that will be our sparring ring.”
“Wait, stop, just a minute. A sparring ring?”
“Come on Mrs. Angloswiss, we felines do not go for walks together paw in paw, or play games. We are action, we do things. Dogs take orders and obey and love it. We felines hate it, it is not in our nature to be sociable, so we need somewhere to practice. As you can see at the entrance to the sparring ring there is a wooden pole, especially for the sharpening of claws. Before entering the felines must show their paws and they will be inspected to see if they are sharp enough. Afterwards Fluffy will give a loud meow and then the fight will begin. Further to the right we have an area for recovery, a place for the felines to lick their wounds.”
“Well, you certainly seem to have thought of everything Tabby. What is that over there, where the curtain is?”
“Mrs. Human we felines need to have our privacy respected. There we have our XXL sized feline trays. There are two, one for females and one for males. As you know each gender of the feline race has its own method. Some spray and some squat and ……”
“Tabby spare me the details. I am really not sure that I want a cat park in my garden.”
“Mrs. Human it is not what you want. Fluffy and I made a survey and discovered that nowhere in the whole world there is a place where we felines can be amongst ourselves and have fun. There are canine parks in every town in America and even in Europe. All we felines have are a few restaurants where we can look good for the customers. This is a unique place for felines. No canines allowed and above all no humans. Understood? Now go and prepare the tin openers for the entrance fee. I can see our first customers already.
Hello Roschti, Bubu, Butch, Bobinette, lovely to see you. Please deposit the entrance fee on the table. Oh, that is very original Bobinette, a branch of catnip.”
“I thought we felines could partake in the catnip to relax after our exercises.”
“What a lovely idea Bobinette, of course. Thank you so much.
Mrs. Human why are you still standing around. Go and do something useful, we felines can manage quite well on our own.
Well, if they're charging entrance by tins of tuna, it'll save you having to buy it!!
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