We’re entering the final days of 2014 — how did you do on your New Year’s resolutions these past 11.75 months? Is there any leftover item to be carried over to 2015?
Now to the resolutions, which I do not have, never will have, and never had in the past. In the past 11.75 months? What an exact calculation. The problem with these resolutions is that I am so perfect that I need no resolutions. I do not smoke, do not drink and disappear every day for two hours in a golden oldie sleep to awake refreshed and ready to go.
I could resolve to be more responsible with the daily tasks. This morning was a very good example.Mr. Swiss left me on my own. He discovered that we were out of bread, due to some mishap in the domestic logistic. Our refrigerator is full of groceries, so full that it is overflowing and naturally the bread was forgotten. Do not despair, Mr. SuperSwiss dressed in his cloak and t-shirt with the big “S” on the front and departed at super speed to the local supermarket. He knew the way and as he can now drive his Supermobil due to an improvement in his sight impairment, he was ready to go. The crowds clapped as they saw that Mr. SuperSwiss was on his way to fulfil an urgent mission, saving the bread famine at the SuperSwiss home.Of course, there was another reason for this quest. Drum practice was again necessary and Mr. Swiss Superdrummer made a detour to his rehearsal room. Did he have a concert to practice for? Not really, but you never know.
In the meanwhile Mrs. SuperAngloswiss had completed the daily Superclean. The bathroom was shining, blinding everyone with its polished tiles, taps and mirrors. Of course, she did it in less than an hour, applying superspeed to the work. This was necessary as two windows also required a superclean. Yes a Super woman’s work is never done. We have the Christmas week and the chores must be completed so that the Super family Swiss can sit beneath the Christmas tree, relaxed and knowing that all was completed.
I am digressing, the morning was not yet complete. While Mr. SuperSwiss was on the bread and drum quest, Mrs. Super Angloswiss had a meal to cook, no problem. The refrigerator was full and ready to go. Admittedly Mrs. SuperAngloswiss was a little tired from her Super cleaning action of the morning, but she continued in her Super speedy way and began to cook the meat. Her brain was functioning at super speed and she decided to apply full planning for the trimmings, which would be pasta and fennel. It was then that the super Swiss logic seemed to fail. The meat was in the oven, the pasta was in its packet ready to be cooked but where was the fennel?
A search was made in the refrigerator. Mrs. SuperAngloswiss emptied the two vegetable containers, her hands ploughing through bags of tomatoes, a cauliflower, some remainders of leek and a freshly bought plastic bag of carrots (they are healthy), but where was the fennel. There was a vision of a lost, lonely plastic bag filled with four fennel vegetables forgotten on the supermarket conveyer band: paid for but left. Do to despair, if you are the wife of a SuperSwiss you have a solution for everything. There was a flash and a bang as she changed into her SuperMrs.Swiss t-shirt and loud triumphant music in the background could be heard. She had memories of the old homeland on planet KryptonSwiss where things were done in warptime, within the bat of an eyelid. Unfortunately Mrs. SuperAngloswiss was now a golden oldie and there were occurrences of forgetfulness, but she was versatile and opened the freezer to be met with frozen peas pouring from the shelf, a rescue in the emergency situation.
Dinner was almost saved, but where was the fennel and there was another trumpet fanfare when Mr. SuperSwiss flew in through the door, his t-shirt displaying the large “S”.
“Is there something wrong, is my t-shirt back-to-front with the “S” on the back?” He noticed there was an emergency situation. but before he revved up the Supermobile, she told him “Stop, the fennel has disappeared”.
“It must have been Swiss Lex Luthor, I saw him lurking in the supermarket between the mushrooms and the egg plants. I will return and take what is rightfully ours.”
Mr. SuperSwiss left the super apartment to the supermobil, but returned within a few super seconds. “I remember” he said “we had no room in the super fridge due to the shopping for the Christmas super holidays and we put the fennel in the garden cupboard. There was room and temperatures were below the super Krypton levels.”
He flew to the outside cupboard and returned clutching a plastic bag filled with fennel in his super silicon gloves. The day was saved. Mr. Superswiss to the rescue. Mrs. SuperAngloswiss had tears of thanks in her eyes. Unfortunately the peas were already simmering in the pan, but the day was saved and visions of fennel salad and cooked fennel came to Mrs. SuperAngloSwiss to fill in over the holidays. “Oh to be a super Swiss family” she thought and who needs resolutions when everything is so super.
“How is it with the ping backs and the grid next year, Mr. Super WordPress. Have you resolved to maintain the daily appearance to make us all happy bloggers. I am sure you will.”
So happy new year to all my faithful disciples, WordPress people and let us work towards a successful New Blogging Year (with perhaps a WordPress t-shirt).Click here for more