Tuesday, 28 October 2014

WordPress Daily Prompt: Custom Zodiac

You’re tasked with creating a brand new astrological sign for the people born around your birthday — based solely on yourself. What would your new sign be, and how would you describe those who share it?


“I think it is time to practice my archery, it is almost the time of the year for a few shots.”

“True Saggi, although you have a month to practice.”

“But wait Scorpi, what do I see. One of my subjects has composed a new sign for her birthday on 6th December, a cow. Just what does she think she is doing?”

“Quite right Saggi, we can’t have those humans messing around with our signs. What will it come to? Just imagine if they substituted my water with a vodka sign: although come to think of it, it would put a bit of spice into the zodiac.”

“Forget it Acqui, we do not need spice, and no-one interferes with our signs. All the prophesies would be upside down. It would be predicted that today you will receive good news, and the actual result would be that your favourite football team lost all their matches.”

“I didn’t know you was into football Saggi.”

“You Virgos know nothing of the real world. It is not all pure and simple, now and again we have to have some excitement. So enough is enough, a cow in December is not my thing. Now I have a target for my arrow.”

There was a crash and Mrs. Angloswiss window was shattered into myriads of glass splinters.

“Wordy, was that you. I have had enough of your WordPress visits and now you are throwing bricks through my windows.+

“Excuse me, are you Mrs. Angloswiss?”

“And who are you, another halloween masked object.”

“No, I am Saggitarius, your zodiac sign.”

“Are you sure? It is quite a fancy dress you have with four legs like a horse and a bow and arrow in the front hooves.”

“That is not a fancy dress, it is me. I AM SAGGITARIUS”

“I heard you, you do not have to shout. And I am the Queen of Sheba. You do not have to smash my window with your bow and arrow, that is hooliganism.”

“What do you think you are doing renaming my zodiac days into the sign of the cow, Vitulus was not foreseen as a sign and he is wearing earrings.”

“WordPress told me to rename my days. MY DAYS, not yours so I decided on a cow. They are lovely animals with their wonderful big eyes and I can always be sure of fresh milk. They do not fire arrows through my windows. I am only doing this blog to join in. To be quite honest Saggi, I do not believe in the Zodiac and its prophesies.”

“But we are tradition, we have been here since the beginning.”

“The beginning of what? You are just a bunch of guys and girls that help fill up a page in the newspaper telling me what to expect. “Today is your lucky day, you will meet the man of your life” and what happened? The window was broken by a bow and arrow hooligan dressed like a horse. Sorry, you are not the man of my life. I prefer a cow, I know what I have. And I will share Vitulus with all the others on my birthday. I think the local zoo have room for a few new animals, especially if they look like a horse with a human head. It would keep you out of trouble making false prophesies and breaking windows. You would be a sensation.”

“But I am Saggitarius.”

“You already told me. Ask one of your friends to repair my window and you can stay for the evening. I think they are showing Black Beauty on the TV, I am sure that would be to your taste.”

Saggitarius loved the film and decided to dye his hair black like Fury. He stayed the night and my new Zodiac sign, Vitulus made room for him in his stall. I have no time for Zodiac signs, I live in the real world.

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1 comment:

  1. I have no time for all this astrological nonsense either. However, as my birthday is only a week after yours, nominally I too am Sagittarius. It occured to me while reading your post, that by a strange co-incidence, one of the few sports I still take part in is.....archery!! LOL.