I could tell you all about Uncle Nick. Now
if you met him for the first time, you would probably run and hide. He did have
the habit of flying around on full moon nights wearing a long black cloak and
sharpening his teeth on a file. The teeth were very pointed and I am sure he
could have bitten through a tree trunk if necessary. However, he only used them
for jugular veins on the necks of various animals or people and they often made
blood stains on his white shirt. Not that it bothered him, he just continued as
usual. I suppose it is as they say, you can pick your friends, but not your
family.
He would work at the local blood bank on the night shift. He slept most of the day, although when the days got shorter in Winter he had a twilight hour job helping the local undertaker. Getting along with Uncle Nick was an overstatement. He was a quiet person, did not mix very much and liked to keep himself to himself. His wife Aunty Dementia was a wonderful person. I remember she always took her broomstick with her when she went shopping. She had a thing for cleanliness. She said it was quicker than the bus or train. Both Uncle Nick and Aunty Dementia are no longer with us in body, but they left their cat, Boris in my care. He loves to go for a walk in the evening and I often accompany him on an excursion to the nearby cemetery. It is almost as if he senses where the remains of Nick and Dementia lay. Unfortunately some nights the grave is empty as they seem to have a wandering spirit.
If you ever meet Boris I would not advise to pat him on the head or stroke his long black fur. He is very sensitive to human touch and it might be that he turns his head and sinks hisfangs teeth into your hand. If he draws
blood do not worry He has a long sharp tongue and will gladly lick it up for
you. Yes that was an unforgettable family.
“Get down Boris and stop annoying that rat in the corner. Ah, you are hungry. Here is a nice bloody steak. Boris do not just bite meat and swallow it, chew it first of all. It will be much easier to digest. Ah, that is not necessary, is slides down nicely in lumps.”
I cannot remember the first time I met that happy family, they were always there and never really left us.
Of course, there was cousin Smokey. He was the son of Nick and Dementia. I think Nick was disappointed in him as he did not seem to live up to the family tradition. He worked for the local fire brigade. He loved things that went up in smoke and if there was no fire he always seemed to find something to burn. He hated school, but he was a lucky cousin. The school burnt down and he had only been there a few weeks. Of course he was under suspicion because someone saw him with a magnifying glass holding it in the sun’s rays over the wooden school door. When questioned he said he was practicing spontaneous combustion for his chemistry lesson at school so no further investigations were carried out.
Smokey had a brother. He had a nickname and was known as “The Strangler”. We do not talk about him. He managed to escape from prison and was last heard of somewhere in Eastern Europe. He seemed to be the black sheep of the family.
So, that will do. Speaking about family members or friends that I have known for a long time is a personal thing and I am sure they would not like to know that I am giving their private details all over Internet. Nick’s family are an exception. They did not really have any friends and most of their relations disowned them. “Boris, down boy, I have a nice piece of liver for you for lunch, but avoid making blood stains on your fur, it does not make a good impression.
He would work at the local blood bank on the night shift. He slept most of the day, although when the days got shorter in Winter he had a twilight hour job helping the local undertaker. Getting along with Uncle Nick was an overstatement. He was a quiet person, did not mix very much and liked to keep himself to himself. His wife Aunty Dementia was a wonderful person. I remember she always took her broomstick with her when she went shopping. She had a thing for cleanliness. She said it was quicker than the bus or train. Both Uncle Nick and Aunty Dementia are no longer with us in body, but they left their cat, Boris in my care. He loves to go for a walk in the evening and I often accompany him on an excursion to the nearby cemetery. It is almost as if he senses where the remains of Nick and Dementia lay. Unfortunately some nights the grave is empty as they seem to have a wandering spirit.
If you ever meet Boris I would not advise to pat him on the head or stroke his long black fur. He is very sensitive to human touch and it might be that he turns his head and sinks his
“Get down Boris and stop annoying that rat in the corner. Ah, you are hungry. Here is a nice bloody steak. Boris do not just bite meat and swallow it, chew it first of all. It will be much easier to digest. Ah, that is not necessary, is slides down nicely in lumps.”
I cannot remember the first time I met that happy family, they were always there and never really left us.
Of course, there was cousin Smokey. He was the son of Nick and Dementia. I think Nick was disappointed in him as he did not seem to live up to the family tradition. He worked for the local fire brigade. He loved things that went up in smoke and if there was no fire he always seemed to find something to burn. He hated school, but he was a lucky cousin. The school burnt down and he had only been there a few weeks. Of course he was under suspicion because someone saw him with a magnifying glass holding it in the sun’s rays over the wooden school door. When questioned he said he was practicing spontaneous combustion for his chemistry lesson at school so no further investigations were carried out.
Smokey had a brother. He had a nickname and was known as “The Strangler”. We do not talk about him. He managed to escape from prison and was last heard of somewhere in Eastern Europe. He seemed to be the black sheep of the family.
So, that will do. Speaking about family members or friends that I have known for a long time is a personal thing and I am sure they would not like to know that I am giving their private details all over Internet. Nick’s family are an exception. They did not really have any friends and most of their relations disowned them. “Boris, down boy, I have a nice piece of liver for you for lunch, but avoid making blood stains on your fur, it does not make a good impression.
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