Sunday, 24 August 2014

WordPress Daily Prompt: You, Robot

Congrats — you’ve been handed a robot whose sole job is to relieve you of one chore, job, or responsibility you particularly hate. What is it?

Study in metal

Sunday afternoon, time to take it easy, be myself and a knock at the door. Hope it is not a visitor. I really do not feel like entertaining.

“Hello Mrs. Angloswiss, I have been chosen as your robot. What can I do for you”.

No, not again, the last time one of those t-shirted WordPress guys turned up he dug up my cellar to make a tunnel. I spent hours clearing the dirt and rubble away, and he forgot to tell me I could only use the tunnel once.

“What do you want? You resemble an automatic football player.”

“I am Wordy, the WordPress robot, and this was all they found in the requisites, but it works.”

“Your name is Wordy? Reminds me of the guy that dug the tunnel.”

“We are all called Wordy. They are the only letters we have. Anything else would cost more.”

“So OK, Wordy, now please go.”

“No Mrs. Angloswiss, you do not understand. I am your daily prompt. I can relieve you of one chore you do not like doing, just name it and I will do it.”

“What does it cost except for my nerves.?”

“I am free Mrs. Angloswiss, the offer of the day.”

“Thanks Wordy, but no thanks. I have a robot, made of flesh and blood, and even with a brain. He is called Mr. Swiss and helps where he can. He does not just do one chore, but a few and does not look like a carnival geek in a football helmet.”

“Waaaaa, eek, aiee (gulp, gulp)”

“Now stop crying, I really did not want to hurt your feelings. Your helmet is going rusty.”

“I was born to help with a chore and now I am redundant. If I return to the WordPress robot factory, they will laugh at me and might even dismantle me and use my parts for a vacuum cleaner, or even worse, a washing machine. No-one wants me. At last it was my turn to find a purpose in my little robot life, and now I have been rejected. Waaaaaa.”

“OK, Wordy, cool down, you are making brown rust marks on my floor. Perhaps I can find something for you to do. Can you write? Do you know how a computer functions.?

Wordy’s little tin face brightened. Did I see a smile beneath the football helmet.?

“Do I know how computers operate? Mrs. Angloswiss, I used to be a computer. They called me Commodore in those days and I was the pride of the WordPress team. Of course, it was in the early days when we did not have grids or pingbacks. We were the pioneers. Eventually they no longer needed us and we were dismantled and rebuilt. Now we are robots, robots, robots, robots ……..”

He seemed to have a problem, so I gave him a push.

“Sorry Mrs. Angloswiss, but I am no longer the youngster I was and sometimes the words get stuck.”

“No, you probably are not. I was still in my pre-greyhaired days when I had a commodore computer. Anyhow, sit down at my computer and write my daily prompt. If you are good, you can return tomorrow and write tomorrow’s prompt as well. Who knows it might be a permanent job.”

“Oh thankyou Mrs. Angloswiss, you have saved my day, my life, my purpose.”

“No problem Wordy, but get up from your kneeling position and stop kissing my fingers with your metal lips.”

After an hour Wordy was finished. I had to do a few corrections where he repeated the words now and again, but you cannot have everything. He was once a commodore computer and there are no longer spare parts available and sometimes things get stuck. I let him stay. He slept in the tunnel in the cellar and all he needed was a glass of lubricant now and again.

I might even be able to teach it to make WordPress t-shirts. That would definitely be a success, I have a long list of Daily Prompt colleagues waiting for WordPress t-shirts in various sizes.

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1 comment:

  1. If I had a robot, I'd send it off to do my day-job. That would free up all my time to do more interesting things!! Of course, I would still be paid for the job!!