Wednesday, 2 April 2014

WordPress Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell!

Me about 8 years old

You see at the age of about 8-10 I was even photographed at school with a book. What the book was and whether I actually read it is an open question, but it made a picture perfect, the school photographer probably hoping for a Pulitzer prize for his work. He probably did not get one, and I also did not achieve any prizes for my English. Yes, the secret is out. According to the science of pedagogic, I did not make the grade with English. Of course, I was convinced that my talents were so good, that it was just beyond the understanding of the teaching staff. They were overwhelmed with my gift and I was misunderstood. My essays were ignored, red lines crossed out words and the insult to end all insults: there was a splattering of question marks all over my efforts. Is it a wonder that I lost faith, submitted compositions where the ink was diluted by the tears I shed? And I was sure I was good, excellent, the best, but even Steven King and Dr. Seuss had their disappointments until their talents were recognised. I am sure if my teachers could now read my 51 Shades of Blog they would be impressed and tear their hair out realising that an undiscovered writing talent had been overlooked.

I read all the good books, my interest in horror and mystery was profound. The school were just supplying the wrong material. I did not want to be a second Charles Dickens or Emily Bronte and definitely not a Jayne Austin, they were just not my thing. I was more in the line of Bram Stoker, Algernon Blackwood and Dean Koontz with a sprinkling of Nate Kenyon, but it was not to be. My school was shocked and found these writers not to be the essence of good education. Perhaps they were scared by the unclaimed body parts that were sometimes left in my writing efforts.

I was misunderstood and instead of my natural writing talent being encouraged, it was scorned, ignored. I should be up there on the pedestal with Orhan Pamuk, Harold Pinter and Doris Lessing, but school ruined everything. They failed me in my English GCE examination in English, and I had to retake the examination. I took the University of London GCE first of all, but it was obvious that the experts were not trained to recognise talent. On my second try with the University of Oxford papers, I succeeded. I did hear rumours that the Oxford University paper was slightly easier than that of the London University, but they were just rumours, circulated by teachers wanting to spoil my chances of recognition.

Today I stand unrecognised, battling for the appreciation I deserve, but my chance will come: I am sure.

Of course school life was not only English. I was the best in school. My biology results were the first step to life as a qualified doctor, but this was not to be. Knowing the difference between an amoeba and mammal did not seem to be the solution. If Bill Gates had not discovered Windows before me, it would have been mine, I just needed time. I was cleaning windows already as a teenager, so what could possibly go wrong. The idea for the micro wave oven was already in existence in my brain, but again someone did the patent work.

I re-invented history at school, but there again the school tutors did not accept my ideas. I was convinced that Queen Elisabeth was an imposter and her family tree was a forgery. I was misunderstood.

I had bad luck from the beginning, but I will have my revenge one day. I will write my 51 Shades of Revenge, they will all receive their just deserts. In the meanwhile I will continue to write my daily prompts with my perfect command of the English language slightly laced with grammatical misunderstandings. Some people just do not recognise good English when they read it.

Click here for more

1 comment:

  1. I had the same problem with maths. For someone who had/has a deep interest in the sciences, particularly physics, particularly the more exotic types, such as Quantum theory, a lack of mathematical ability was a major drawback. It stopped me becoming another Stephen Hawking!!