Photographers, artists, poets: show us SUPERSTAR.
Stop laughing please, yes this teenage beauty with the curves in the right places (before everything went South) is me, dressed in one of my Marks and Spencer sexy nighdresses. Unfortunately this photo only exists for I, me and myself, taken by mum when once on holiday, and was never opened to the public, otherwise I would now be telling you all how I won my first (and only) Oscar. Based on this photo, casting me in my younger days, of course, Brigitte Bardot with a dark wig would be the nearest thing, I am sure. Back to reality, things turned out different.
Having a private discussion with Mr. Swiss, whose opinion I nearly always value, we came to the conclusion that if a film was made showing me as I would be today, then it seems that Barbara Streisland would be the best fit. It seems we have a strong resemblance concerning the size and shape of the nose. Needless to say there were a few moments of silence, between me and Mr. Swiss for a while, but I got my revenge.
Who will play Mr. Swiss in the film of my life, no-one other than……. Bruce Willis. Ok it all started when he stopped cutting his hair, finding it was cheaper to do it all with an electric hair trimmer. Takes no time in the bathroom, there is no problem about where to leave the hair parting, and above all, I like it. I am sorry to say there are no photos to this effect. Mr. Swiss wishes to remain anonymous, a guiding figure in the background: he also said that his rôle would only be that of a supporting actor and only wishes to appear in the credit titles. At least Bruce Willis will be a cheap solution, if I only need his name at the end. He just added that in his younger years he had a remarkable resemblance to Jean Louis Trintignant. Unfortunately this French film star is now over eighty years old. I contacted him, but he turned the opportunity down, as he is now only accepting awards and not available for active film work.
My sons decided they do not want to appear in the film of my life. I suggested Brad Pitt and George Clooney to take their parts, but they said no. That is a mum thing, and not something that sons would like to be.
My feline Nera, was immediately there with her paw in the air, but I had to disappoint her. Garfield is a male feline, a tom cat, and has red fur. I do not have any cats with red fur. I suggested Felix the cat, but she threw a bowl of tuna fish at me. When she does that, the answer is definitely a hissing No.
I decided that George Raft would be ideal as my dad. They can both dance, although the voice may not be authentic. Dad is more in the Bing Crosby direction. Helen Mirren is definitely the choice for my mother, she was Queen Elizabeth II in a film and so she would definitely meet my requirement.
So there we have it, the film of the year. WordPress are you reading me? Please make the necessary connections and I will only accept Quentin Tarantino as the director, I like his satirical lines and weird stories. I am sure that would fit the bill for the film of my life.
I nearly forgot – here is a Barabara Streisland lookalike.
When I think of it, what has Barbara Streisland got that I have not? OK, she can sing, but otherwise I could dub my singing voice. I think I will do it all by myself. My chance to thank everyone when I receive my long expected Oscar.Click here for more