Tuesday, 23 July 2013

WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of you

This week, we want a window into the complexity that is you. We want your best recipes. If writing about yourself isn’t something you normally do on your blog, feel free to change the focus of the recipe.


“Please take a seat.”

“Just a moment: who are you, where am I and what is happening. I fell, hit my head and now I am somewhere in a room with three people.”

“No problem, Angloswiss – you are dead, well almost, we are now deciding how things will continue. You are now in the transcendental station.”

“I am dead! I do not feel dead, I can see you and that lady over there and the man sitting at the big desk at the end of the room. How can I be dead, and how can things continue when I a dead. This is a mystery to me.”

It is a mystery to everyone. Life is full of mysteries. We never left a message in the world saying what happens afterwards. You would only be disappointed. I am the judge, the lady is the recorder and the man at the big desk at the end of the room is Him."

“Him? You mean……..”

“Not what you think, he just makes sure that everything is done properly. Now we will begin. We have to decide whether it is worth a second try and return you to where you came from, or just pass you on further.”


“To continue: it seems you never really took no for an answer. Always wanted to know more and have everything explained. Make a tick recorder.”

“Will do

“Is that good or bad?”


“On what, or shall I ask Him”

“Him will not answer, he just decides.”

“You were quite the photographer. Making photos everywhere, sneaking up on stuff and never asking permission. You have 11,000 photos publicly being shown on a photo site on the computer.”

“One of my hobbies: I never sneaked. I just made a quick shot hoping for the photo of the year and perhaps world recognition if it was seen.”

“Which brings me to another point: you are very ambitious. Always looking for the chance to be recognised. Your blogs have often mentioned this.”

“But I have not yet been recognised and am still waiting.”

“Recorder mark that she is still waiting.”

“So what happens now?”

“I have not finished. You practice Tai Chi, hoping for a transfer into another level to float over your fellow humans.”

“That is not true, just hold on. I do not want to transfer anywhere, I just want to relax and get my muscles and bones working without any problems. At my age……”

“Your age has now been completed probably. It seems that you have left a husband, known as Mr. Swiss, and two children, although they are all very independent. What is your opinion?”

“The children are now independent, so I do not think they need me any further, but Mr. Swiss is waiting for my return. He is looking forward to a spaghetti Bolognese dinner which I was ready to serve, had I not fallen on my head. I am sure he is worried and hungry.

There was a loud noise, a crashing sound, as the Recorder presented a large stamp, pressed it into an ink pad (ink colour red) and placed it on the document,  where she had been striking out sentences and ticking in boxes.

“What is that?”

“No worry Angloswiss, we have decided to give you a second round. You have some things to finish in your earthly world.”

“You mean…..”

“Yes, there is a Pulitzer prize to be won for blogging and photography and points in the Gault Millau for your cooking qualities. If you practice your Tai Chi even more, you will become an instructor to share the benefits. Above all Mr. Swiss is waiting for lunch. You may return to your home. In the meanwhile we have blocked the shock and memory of your fall in the brain of Mr. Swiss, that he has no unnecessary worries.”

“I can go? I promise I will not tell my fellow humans when I return about what happens after life. Just one question: what would have happened if I had not returned?”

“When you return you will have no memory of what has happened in this transcendental station.

I was now sitting at lunch with Mr. Swiss sprinklilng parmesan cheese over my spaghetti.

Meanwhile back at the transcendental station: “I think you made a good decision” said Him. “If she had stayed she would have taken over and started telling us all what to do.”

The judge smiled “exactly my meaning. Her voice is still ringing in my ears. I think she would have outlived us. Does she never take a pause when talking? Recorder make a note, if Angloswiss arrives again, send her on further.”

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