“Did you hear someone sneak into the
appartment last night?” said Mr. Human from the kitchen.
Mrs. Human thought he was busy making coffee and eating breakfast, but it seems there was a problem.
“No, I slept quite well actually, why?”
“There is $10,000 on the kitchen table (we do not have a dresser) and a notice saying that all appointments are cancelled for the next seven days.”
“Is it signed?”
“Sort of, there is a stamp on it from WordPress, with a note “write about it”. Looks like one of your blogging pastimes is getting out of hand again, although I wouldn’t say no to ten thousand dollars.”
Mrs. Human shook her head, that was going to far. She stumbled into the kitchen (it was early in the morning) and had a closer look at the surprise.
“Forget it.”
“But we can go somewhere next week and used the money for the trip.”
“Just like that. I am too old for sudden excursions.”
“But France is just around the corner, we share borders with Italy and Germany, as well as Lichtenstein (where?). We can go all over Europe in a week and we do not need any money.”
“Mr. Human, are we taking our three cats with us? Are we going to put them in a trailer and hang them onto the car? What good is ten thousand dollars, when we use Swiss Francs or Euros? I know we can exchange the money, but do we really want to go away. All the stress of organising the stuff at home.”
“You are going away?” said my three cats in meow chorus. “You cannot do that: impossible. Who is going to prepare our food, empty our tray and let us out for a mouse hunt? No way. If you have so much money, then use it for something sensible.”
Felines are so logical sometimes.
“What do you suggest that I do with the money felines?”
Nera the chief cat started thinking. “I know, you could get that Swarovski diamond studded cat flap that we saw in Internet. They take dollars, and ten thousand would be enough. There would even be some left for a nice fur cover to sleep on.”
“Felines, you are now not being so logical. If we stay here and do not go away, we will use the money for something sensible.”
“But a cat flap is sensible” said Tabby feline.
“No” said Mr. Human. “We could use the money to send you all to a cat hotel for a week and then with the rest we could go on holiday. The French coast is not so far away, and a week at St. Tropez or Nice would be quite something.”
“Or perhaps a week on a beach somewhere like the Maledives” added Mrs. Human.
“And we three cats will be sent to a place we do not know, fed with food we do not like and we probably have to share with a lot of other smelly felines, all thinking that it is their territory. Just imagine how we would suffer. You humans can really be heartless sometimes.”
“But Nera” said Mrs. Human “I thought the word “heartless” did not exist in meow.”
“It only exists when necessary Mrs. Human. Stay here Mrs. Human, you can still use the money. A plate of salmon for us felines every day, and there would even be enough money for you and Mr. Human to go out for a good meal. I think we felines would manage to spare you for an evening. Just make sure that you leave us with enough to eat.”
So that was that. The nice surprise from WordPress was decided. The Humans had a nice week. The cats were very happy with their salmon diet. They even got a new cat flap. Unfortunately there was not enough money left for the diamonds, but it was in pure silver, the envy of the neighbourhood cats. The Humans did not go out for a meal, they were too busy fitting up the new cat flap.
Mrs. Human thought he was busy making coffee and eating breakfast, but it seems there was a problem.
“No, I slept quite well actually, why?”
“There is $10,000 on the kitchen table (we do not have a dresser) and a notice saying that all appointments are cancelled for the next seven days.”
“Is it signed?”
“Sort of, there is a stamp on it from WordPress, with a note “write about it”. Looks like one of your blogging pastimes is getting out of hand again, although I wouldn’t say no to ten thousand dollars.”
Mrs. Human shook her head, that was going to far. She stumbled into the kitchen (it was early in the morning) and had a closer look at the surprise.
“Forget it.”
“But we can go somewhere next week and used the money for the trip.”
“Just like that. I am too old for sudden excursions.”
“But France is just around the corner, we share borders with Italy and Germany, as well as Lichtenstein (where?). We can go all over Europe in a week and we do not need any money.”
“Mr. Human, are we taking our three cats with us? Are we going to put them in a trailer and hang them onto the car? What good is ten thousand dollars, when we use Swiss Francs or Euros? I know we can exchange the money, but do we really want to go away. All the stress of organising the stuff at home.”
“You are going away?” said my three cats in meow chorus. “You cannot do that: impossible. Who is going to prepare our food, empty our tray and let us out for a mouse hunt? No way. If you have so much money, then use it for something sensible.”
Felines are so logical sometimes.
“What do you suggest that I do with the money felines?”
Nera the chief cat started thinking. “I know, you could get that Swarovski diamond studded cat flap that we saw in Internet. They take dollars, and ten thousand would be enough. There would even be some left for a nice fur cover to sleep on.”
“Felines, you are now not being so logical. If we stay here and do not go away, we will use the money for something sensible.”
“But a cat flap is sensible” said Tabby feline.
“No” said Mr. Human. “We could use the money to send you all to a cat hotel for a week and then with the rest we could go on holiday. The French coast is not so far away, and a week at St. Tropez or Nice would be quite something.”
“Or perhaps a week on a beach somewhere like the Maledives” added Mrs. Human.
“And we three cats will be sent to a place we do not know, fed with food we do not like and we probably have to share with a lot of other smelly felines, all thinking that it is their territory. Just imagine how we would suffer. You humans can really be heartless sometimes.”
“But Nera” said Mrs. Human “I thought the word “heartless” did not exist in meow.”
“It only exists when necessary Mrs. Human. Stay here Mrs. Human, you can still use the money. A plate of salmon for us felines every day, and there would even be enough money for you and Mr. Human to go out for a good meal. I think we felines would manage to spare you for an evening. Just make sure that you leave us with enough to eat.”
So that was that. The nice surprise from WordPress was decided. The Humans had a nice week. The cats were very happy with their salmon diet. They even got a new cat flap. Unfortunately there was not enough money left for the diamonds, but it was in pure silver, the envy of the neighbourhood cats. The Humans did not go out for a meal, they were too busy fitting up the new cat flap.
Thank heavens I don't have cats. I'd be on the first flight out of Heathrow heading for Newark, New Jersey :-))
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