Thursday, 1 November 2012

My cats missed me?

Of course I missed my three furry animals when I was away in London, all the more looking forward to seeing them again.

"Hi felines, I'm back from my trip to London." They gave me a quick glance, raised their heads from their individual sleeping positions and promptly went back to sleep. I repeated my greeting. Tabby opened her eyes and decided to answer.

"You were away Mrs. Human?"

"I was away for a week Tabby." Then I got curious. "You didn't notice my absence?"

"To be quite honest, our food dishes will permanently filled as always, we got a tuna fish ration twice, water was replaced regularly and our litter tray was cleaned every day. Everything seemed to be normal."

"Is that all I am to you, a feeding and toilet cleaning machine?"

Nera now raised her head. 

"It seems that you had trained Mr. Human quite well, so where's the problem? Everything as usual. But now you are back, what did you bring us?"

And now all three cats were present, Fluffy also decided to join in.

"Hello Mrs. Human, where is our present. Fresh english mice, some english treats?"

"No felines, I did not see any English mice. Just some crows and pigeons, not even a sparrow."

"Oh, well in that case felines back to sleep nothing new here" was Nera's answer speaking for all.

I was a bit perplexed and did not want to be the reason for a large feline disappointment.

"I brought you nice photos of some english cats. They were always sitting in the widow of a house when I walked down the street where my father lived, so I though you might appreciate the photo.

Cats in a window in Oxlow Lane

"But Mrs. Human, you cannot eat photos" was Tabby's answer, although all three cats were now interested.

"That's the Dagenham gang" said Nera "I recognise them. They are also on pawbook. I told them to keep an eye on you while you were away" said Nera.

"So you did miss me after all."

"Sort of. We had to be sure that our second slave returned, in case slave No. 1 - Mr. Human - might go on a journey. Piano, the big black and white one in the middle is the boss and he said him and his gang would be watching your every move."

So it seems that the cat network is still functioning, all the communication being by telepathy of course. Silly me, thinking that the cats had fogotton me.

"Now that's an interesting photo Mrs. Human, that is much more important" and Tabby pointed her paw at this photo.

It was just a plain tree I found interesting with a propped up sign in front of it.

Tree in Rush Green Road

"What is so interesting on that photo Tabby?"

"It shows how concerned the London people are for our welfare."

"I don't quite understand."

"It's quite obvious Mrs. Human" chipped in Fluffy. "Even a blind feline like me can follow the instructions on that sign. They are even embossed in the metal. It is a cat friendly tree."

Nera took over. "Mrs. Human concentrate with your inferior human brain. It is so clear. If you are a feline you are glad to realise the dangers of climbing a tree. The humans put the sign there to show the way to climb the tree with no danger. It shows that on the ascent you must keep to the right side of the tree, avoiding any damaged branches on the left of the tree which could collapse under our delicate weight. Tabby, stop laughing, it is fluff not what you think."

"Sorry Nera, but I noticed you walk rather slowly lately. Thought it might be the weight you have to carry."

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by my feline sister, the tree is definitely feline friendly. Those London people have been well trained. Must send a message to the Dagenham gang."

To say the least I was a little confused, as I was sure the maintenance men had left the sign at the base of the tree and would continue their work the next day, but not wanting to disallusion my felines, I decided to keep that to myself.

So it seemed that everything continued in its usual way while I was in London. Mr. Human had followed his instructions and had been completely integrated into the feline slave world. And silly me, thinking they might have missed me.


  1. Had to laugh at the cat's interpretation of the road sign!! The 'Dagenham Gang' look a serious bunch, not to be messed with!!

  2. LOL a wonderful read with my Saturday morning coffee;)