MULTIPLY Wordsmiths Writing Challenge #6: Evolution

That is one of the problems being sort of half fish, half human. You just do not know where you really belong. Mum and dad told me it was all in the name of science.

“Penny, what are you saying, I only did it for your own good. At the time when you were a baby it was the best idea your father said. Think of how many children were never lucky enough to learn how to swim properly.”

“Yes mum, but no-one asked me. You just threw me into deep water and let me get on with it.”

And that really was the way it all began. I was just a happy baby, drinking regularly, smiling to please everyone, but mum insisted and before I could say no, she was taking me to the swimming pool every week.

“Penny you were really the best in the group.”

Of course I was the best in the group, the other babies could not breathe the water as well as I could. The first examinations showed that my lungs were changing, I could actually breathe in water or air and it made no difference. It was perhaps the webs that started growing between my toes and fingers that looked a bit strange. I suppose I could have been a champion swimming for our country in the Olympic games, but because of my physical differences I was banned from the beginning; something about having unfair advantages.

“Penny, listen to your father. We scientists call that evolution, the changing of the species and it was working so well with you. Look at you today you can take a walk in water or in air, it makes no difference.”

Now that is easy for a father to say, who also happens to be a marine biologist and just had to try out his ideas on me; so just tell me mum and dad, how am I going to find a normal boy, get married and settle down, when I look like a fish out of water on land, and a human out of land when under water.

“Penny you have so many advantages.”

That was mum and dad talking together. The only advantage I can see is that if I happen to fall into the sea, I can walk back to the shore, or if I live somewhere where floods occur I will survive. Of course, there are perhaps a few things to treasure. Diving for a pearl now and again has made mum and dad quite wealthy.

I am now 25 years old and have never been kissed. The boys avoid me, and at school I was called fishy by everyone. I remember I quite took a like to Jeremy in the class, but when we had swimming lessons and I decided to dive in at the deep end with him, he was very unhappy when I wanted to stay under water with him. He said he almost suffocated and whether I was mad.

“What did you say dad, you want me to meet someone. His name is Neptune and he comes from another part of the world where they have also been using the same programme?”

I suppose I will do them the favour of meeting him, who knows. Perhaps we might be able to breed a couple of mermaids together. The things you do for scientific research these days.

MULTIPLY United Friends Challenge #186 A Surprise at the Graveyard

Mysty's challenge

Write a story or a poem about a zombie birthday party.

It most contain zombies and birthday cake - beyond that imagination is the limit!

Here we are at the graveyard filming the great occasion. We are a little early viewers, as we know that zombies prefer to appear only when the sun has completely disappeared and the moon is high in the sky. Thanks to advanced technology we are now able to film occasions in the so-called underworld.

Today we are celebrating a birthday, not just a birthday, but that of the most well known zombie living here, if we may use the term. He is not the oldest, but he has been active for so long that he is the idol of the cemetery. Yes, Rasputin just did not want to lie down and die as we all know. After many attempts by poison he still came back for more. After overcoming death and becoming one of the first recognised zombies, he decided to leave his home country as he just did not feel wanted, and after long travels eventually found his home in our little graveyard which is said to have originated from the days of the Great Plague.

As the camera sways over the grass and stones, we can see a phosphorescence surrounding some of the graves. These are those belonging to the “grufties” the colleagues and fellow zombies in the Rasputin group. As the sun has slowly disappeared from view and the fiery appearance of the sky has now turned dismal, we can here the creaking and rattling of bones. The moon is now ascending and I believe that I can see the first zombie appearing out of his gruft. Yes it is Deadly Earnest, the spokesman for the group.”

“Good evening, may I ask you a few questions on this honourable occasion.”

“You may, but I might be a bit short on answers. You look very tasty, can you come nearer. Is that a camera, am I being filmed?”

“Yes, thousands of people are watching you through the country at this very moment. Am I near enough? Please stop gnawing at my hand, I need it to hold the microphone.”

“Tasty, tasty, I just love a gnaw on a finger bone. Ok, I get the message, I can wait, Ha…Ha…Ha, zombie joke.”

Taking a few steps away from Deadly Earnest, I will continue. “Does Rasputin know that his birthday is being celebrated this evening?”

“Of course, he does, he gave out orders that we should not spare any expense. My friend the chef will be able to give details. He is very good at preparing specialities and is at this moment arising from his grave. In his time he was a well known person, serving last meals to the victims ready to be hanged; Mort come here and introduce yourself. This nice tasty gentleman is making a television film about Rasputin’s birthday party.”

“Good evening, I am pleased to meet you.”

“Your name is Mortimer?”

“Yes, but they all call me Mort, suits the situation much better, don’t you think Ha…Ha…Ha.”

“Ok Mort, what are you planning to cook for Rasputin on his birthday?”

“Cook, cook??? Are you out of your mind? We will not cook for Rasputin, the food just has to be prepared. Just pep it up a bit. You know what they say, food must be a feast for the eyes. First of all as a starter I will be preparing a blood sausage. An original recipe gathered from one of my fellow zombies, used to be one of the best butchers in town in the days before he arrived here. As a main course it will be fresh cut steak, one of my colleagues is at the moment shopping for the steak. No need to get the food too early, it has to be fresh, a nice healthy red colour.”

“And will Rasputin have a birthday cake?”

“Of course, but that is not my department. The ladies will be arranging that little surprise. Here comes Lucretia, I am sure she can give you more details.”

Cameraman, your camera in this direction please. Then just kick them away, I told you to wear a long sleeved shirt and not a t-shirt. They seem to be developing quite an appetite for arms at the moment.”

“Hello, I am Lucretia, you can forget the Borgia bit, that was my name in the olden days. Today one name is enough. Yes, my girl friends and I had to do a lot of thinking about a cake. Good old Raspy does not have such a sweet tooth, but we finally found the solution. We decided on a sandwich cake containing a raw liver paté and decorated with a wonderful sticky sauce made from the fruit of deadly nightshade.

Do I notice a cut on your finger Mr. Interviewer. Oh dear. Can I lick it clean for you.”

“No, no thank you it will be ok, I will just cover it with a plaster.”

“Oh, what a shame, you should let it dry out in the air.”

"Thank you Lucretia, no problem and here comes the man himself. Good evening sir, Mr. Rasputin and may I wish you a happy birthday from our viewers all over the country. This is indeed a great occasion, how many years is it?”

“Good evening, fellow zombies stop sniffing around this television man and his crew, they are here to make a programme about me. Unfortunately we must let them go home afterwards in one piece.

You were asking how many years? You know after a while years just do not count any more. As long as there are always little delicacies walking around to spice up death, then the years are not so important. So if you will excuse me, my fellow zombies are calling. The table is laid; Lucretia what a wonderful cake. I can smell it from here; just beautiful and filled with raw liver. You see Mr. Interviewer, even in death the ladies worship my presence and spoil me. So if you will excuse me, I would now partake of my birthday food.”

“Then I will leave you to your party, and thank you for the interview: just one further question. Are their other festivities planned this evening?”

“Of course, my friends and I will take a walk into town, it might be that we develop hunger early in the morning.”

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MULTIPLY Creative Challenge #73: The Happiest Days of my Life

The happiest days of my life are:

when I can take a walk and see the river
when I call my dad and ask how are you and he says fine
when I have someone at my side to share my life with
when I have good friends that call or write
when I can read any book I choose
when I can vote for my own government
when I can put food on the table to satisfy hunger
when I can still drink a glass of water if I am thirsty
when I know my health is cared for
when I can close my eyes and sleep at night
when I awake each morning greeted by daylight
and when I look around me and see nature still thriving

I do not ask for a lot, but I treasure what I have

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MULTIPLY Pete's Picks Week 8: Elevating

Going up, going up,
the lift is on its way
Elevation, life’s programme
Always moving further
Watching the clouds pass by
Until we reach the limit
Where we take a deep breath
And hope for what will come

Always looking upwards
the way to go
no looking back, no regrets
Ahead lie open questions
Searching for the answers
is already too late
Or just stay in the lift
and enjoy what you have

MULTIPLY Rita's "Ritin" Challenge: The Discovery

Based, and only based on a true story

If Mrs. Wagner had not decided to have a spring cleaning session in her kitchen the loose stone would not have fallen out of the wall and she would not have noticed that it was actually a double wall with a space in between. Further if she had not been so inquisitive as to look what was in between she would not have discovered the rifle leaning on the back of the wall.

This discovery lead to the unhappiness of a retired police officer who thought that he could now live in peace and quiet without the stress of the murder division around his ears and spend the remainder of his retired days tendering his rose bed. Mrs. Wagner unfortunately disturbed the relaxations of retired officer Peter Walker.

We have to take a few steps back in time, more than 20 years. Peter Walker had then been promoted as head of the detective office in a town in a small country somewhere in Europe when the crime was discovered. It was a warm spring week-end and there were many people on their way enjoying walks through woodlands and country villages. In one of these forests there was a so-called week-end house, but the hiker that happened to chance on the house was not very happy afterwards. Fritz Gerber actually had a shock. The stone had now fallen into the pond, figuratively speaking of course, and the ripples began to spread. He ran to the next village and called the police. They arrived quickly to examine the place of the crime. Five elderly people, two married couples and a friend, had been shot and killed in the week-end house and in the garden and the search for the murderer began.

Peter Walker did everything in his power. He examined the background of the victims, arrested a few relatives, only to release them again, without sufficient proof, but the murderer was not found and neither was the weapon. It was easy for the criminal investigation department and their specialists to discover what the weapon was, a rifle, by traces left from the bullets. The open question being where was the rifle and who had used it? In the twenty years that the case existed in the files of the police, there was no success.

That was until the day that Mrs. Wagner cleaned the kitchen and found the rifle. Like every good honest citizen she called the police who collected the rifle for an examination. Mrs. Wagner was just a little bit shocked when the police asked if she knew where the rifle came from. Having a clean legal sheet, the police believed her when she insisted that she did not know anything about the rifle. She had been living in the house for five years, with a rifle in the wall, of course.

Many examinations were made on the rifle and the result was that it was the weapon used to kill five people one sunny day in a holiday chalet in the forest. Even in his retirement ex-officer Peter Walker was satisfied that at last the weapon had been found and enquiries were made as to who had lived in the house before Mrs. Wagner. It seems that it was a person known as Heinz Schmitt, but it also appeared that Heinz Schmitt had decided to leave his safe little country in Europe and emigrate, to live somewhere else in the world. The crime now having taken place more than 20 years ago was now time-barred, meaning that for the police it was a closed case.

Peter Walker was on the one side happy that at last the murderer had been found, on the other hand had a feeling that he had wasted 20 years of his working life chasing a shadow.

Three years before Mrs. Wagner cleaned the kitchen, there was a man standing on a lonely beach somewhere in the world. It was almost midnight as he decided to walk towards the incoming tide. He could swim, but this was not his intention. He just kept walking and never returned to the beach. Had he not decided to end his life in this way, it might have been that the international police had been able to deliver him to his rightful punishment in a small town in Europe.

It may also have been that at last the reasons for the death of five innocent people would be uncovered, or perhaps they were also not so innocent. Who knows what skeletons live in various closets. The case was now time-barred, and perhaps the murderer would have escaped any punishment. In a way retired office Peter Walker was glad.

He could now return to looking after his rose garden.

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MULTIPLY United Friends #185: The Tuna Fish Debate

So the criteria are:
(1) You must make up an imaginary silly dispute that your characters are impassioned over.
(2) Write a story or poem about the dispute.
(3) There is no word limit on this one.
(4) The characters to not need to be human.

Nera was a slightly voluptuous cat with long black fur, usually using her gifts to persuade others, but it just did not always work, especially with the human species. One evening she made her entrance as usual, flashing her yellow eyes and waving her long black furry tail to and fro to show that madam was not very pleased. Her sister Tabby knew that there was something in the air.

“Nera do you have a problem? You do not look very happy.”

“Tabby, just do not ask such a silly question, you are a member of the feline race and should be as insulted as I am.”

“Perhaps I missed something?” asked Tabby, although she knew her sister was usually the cat that made the main decisions.

Tabby always felt slightly inferior to Nera, although they were litter sisters, but there the resemblance seemed to end. Nera was always the special one with her long silky fur, and she had a certain star allure. Tabby was just an average tabby cat with short fur, although she did have a wide black stripe on her back to the tip of her short slim tail. Her main pride was the red fur on her tummy which she was sure she had inherited from her father. Nera and Tabby were sisters, but perhaps only half way, Tabby thought.

“You definitely did miss something Tabby. We have been insulted.”

“We” answered Tabby “I must have been sleeping.”

The answer came sharply like a claw from a cat’s paw “Tabby you sleep nearly all day and most of the night, but that is not the problem.”

“Am I missing something Nera, Tabby? I heard Nera shouting. What has happened?” and Fluffy the third cat in the group arrived on the scene. Basically Nera and Tabby only really just tolerated Fluffy as he did not belong to the family, but realising that Fluffy was there to stay, they tried to ignore him most of the time. Luckily Fluffy did not notice this; he was too interested in his own feline life.

Nera did not mind this time, she needed an audience for her problem.

“Fluffy not too near to me, I do not want strains of your white curly coat mixed with my wonderful black fur. Ok cats here is the problem.” And she began.

“Listen to this, I just do not understand those two legged humans sometimes. It is most annoying. Yesterday was Wednesday and every self respecting cat knows that Wednesday is tuna fish day. In the evening each of us are given a dish of tuna fish.”

Tabby picked her ears up, the situation was serious. “I know what you mean Nera. Yesterday evening we had no fish, just the usual dry stuff which is supposed to be full of cat vitamins, the problem being you have to wash it down with a dish of water to make sure you can swallow it properly.”

“But cats” said Fluffy “I think Mr. and Mrs. Human were invited to dinner yesterday evening they just didn’t have time to make anything special for us.”

Nera snorted, one of her important snorts. “Typical Fluffy, Humans must always have to have time for us, that is the reason why we train them with our miaow and pawing exercises."

Tabby added “not forgetting a bite and scratch now and again.”

“Yes, but they did return yesterday evening” said Fluffy.

“Fluffy I just do not know why you always have to speak up for those Humans. Of course, they came back, they wanted to have a good night’s sleep so they returned to their beds, the only problem being that they made no effort to serve up our normal dish of Wednesday tuna fish” and with that Nera stamped her paw on the ground.

“Most disappointing Nera” Tabby realised she should say something to appease her black furred sister. She continued “we really made a mistake in our human training programme. What do you suggest Nera?”

“I decided to ignore them today” was Nera’s answer.

Fluffy intervened “but Nera you were sleeping all day today as usual. I don’t think Mr. and Mrs. Human noticed you were ignoring them.”

“It’s the principal that counts. Tabby, Fluffy, just get one thing straight. You have to treat humans as if they do not exist. They have some sort of feeling that we cats like to be near them.”

“I like to be near them” said Fluffy “they feed us and look after our needs.”

“Of course there is a certain truth in that statement. We hang around to make sure we don’t have to rely on mouse hunting or bird catching for our regular meals. Humans are a sort of tool that we need now and again, similar to humans that need a tin opener to give us our tuna fish once a week.”

Tabby followed Nera’s brilliant statement and added “once a week on Wednesday evening.”

“Yes, but we did get our tuna fish this evening” said Fluffy trying to calm Nera’s nerves, although Nera could not be calmed and was ready with her answer.

“This evening is Thursday and not Wednesday.”

“Does that make a difference” and Fluffy took three paces away from Nera to avoid a swipe of a heavy black paw. Tabby decided to answer as Nera was still choking on Fluffy’s last words, annoyed that Fluffy had avoided his punishment for uttering such words.

"Of course it makes a difference. We are cats and have our tuna on Wednesday, not Thursday. It is a fact of life.”

Fluffy was thinking it over and answered “but you and Nera ate it all the same. You could have left it and not touched it, as well as being all the more for me, you would have shown the humans that you were annoyed because they went out yesterday and did not give us our usual tuna.”

“Are you mad, Fluffy?” which was more a statement than a question. Nera continued “a plate of tuna is not to be ignored at any time.”

Tabby supported Nera “Fluffy, if someone put a plate of tuna in front of you on Sunday morning would you eat it, although it isn’t Wednesday?”

“Of course I would” answered Fluffy.

“Good” said Nera “then you have understood the basic fact of feline life. Take what you can and when you can, but do it with dignity.”

“OK, I understand., but now a small question.” Fluffy was not impressed with Nera. “You and Tabby have not eaten all your tuna fish and there is some left in your dishes. Do you want it?”

Tabby and Nera answered together: “We have had enough, you have to leave a respectable remainder to prove that you are not slaves of tuna.”

And Fluffy had the last word “In that case this tuna slave is going to eat the fish that you two cats left.”

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MULTIPLY Poetry Posse Week 51 Nursery Rhyme: Tiddles the Cat

I am Tiddles the cat
I am not fat
In fact I drink no milk
I live in a house
and eat only mouse
My fur is just like silk

To sleep all day
Is my favourite way
At night I go to town
I dress myself well
Looking really swell
I never wear a frown

The ladies love me
But I am carefree
They stand in rows for my glance
I know I look great
But that is just fate
Young lady would you like to dance?

The lady cats swoon
When we look at the moon
Paw in paw I walk them home
But I am the best
Let me be your guest
Together we will roam

Please do not weep
I must have some sleep
To recover from the busy night
I dream of mice
not once but twice
I am beautiful, my fur is white

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