If you ask me this thanksgiving thing is a crime, something I could really do without. As I said to Mavis, the wife, a couple of weeks ago, it is time again for us to go on a diet.
“On a diet” she said with an annoyed voice. “You mean all that nice gobbly stuff the farmer is bringing us to eat, we have to leave alone. What about the children? They will starve.”
You know women just do not seem to understand the importance of the situation. I told her that we turkeys are an endangered species at this time of the year. Of course we get more food, we have to be fattened up for thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, what a word! Are we turkeys thankful for this feast, definitely not. I remember Uncle Fred last year, gobbling all the extra food and getting nice and fat. The last I saw of him was when the farmer’s wife carried him away under her arm. Just a few feathers floating in the air were all that was left as a memory. Sometimes there are even trucks arriving at the farm, and one after the other we birds of a feather are piled in, never to return.
Anyhow, as I say, a turkey should be very careful at this time of the year. Refuse to eat the extra rations. It is difficult, but then you are not one of the chosen few to arrive on a family table. I have heard those humans are even asked if they prefer white meat or dark. What an insult to be reduced to a discussion over my departed remains. Excuse me, but that takes it too far. Anyhow, this year I have managed to find a nice quiet corner in the barn. After making it clear to the wife what this thanksgiving is all about, she has seen the light and has decided follow my advice and stay away from the humans and their extra rations at the moment. We have managed to find enough straw to hide in until this time of the year has gone.
Some of the turkeys are laughing at us. Cousin James started making fun of me. “If you carry on like that, you will be only skin and bone, you are a disgrace to the turkey nation” he said. May cousin James now rest in peace, he stuffed himself so full with those extra rations, he was one of the first to go. I suppose at least he went fully fed. I now go for jogging exercises every morning to make sure that I do not put on one gram of extra fat. If I could fly I can tell you I would hop over the fence and find a nice forest to hide in until it is all over.
“Mavis, quick under the straw the farmer’s wife is coming and that truck has pulled up again at the farm gate. Take the kids with you, I am coming. Sometimes I wish I was a vulture.”
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