“Nera cat, please leave Fluffy cat alone, He is not bothering you. He just wants to make friends with you.”
“Forget it Mrs. Human, since when does a cat need a friend? We are independent and can look after ourselves, not like you humans.”
“But Nera, you need friends to get through life, otherwise you would feel very lonely.”
“Mrs. Human have you ever seen me feeling lonely. I am surrounded by food, water, once a week tuna fish, and a few cats living in the neighbourhood that give me the chance of a fight now and again. What more could I want?” That was pure Nera logic.
“Don’t worry about me Mrs. Human” said Fluffy. “I am used to Nera swishing me one with her paw now and again, and I don’t really want to be her friend. She smells different to me.”
“What does smell have to do with being friends Fluffy.”
“Oh a lot Mrs. Human. Have a sniff at Nera, and then have a sniff at me.”
“I don’t think so Fluffy. I smell you cats enough when I clean your waste disposal tray.”
“And you think that your so-called toilet can be compared to a rose garden?” answered Fluffy.
“I like the human toilet. It’s a big room with a bath that I can jump into when it is dry and a nice warm carpet on the floor for a quiet sleep. Closed rooms are ideal for a cat sleep.”
“Thank you Tabby” I said “ we all know how you like to sleep in the bathroom. It is sometimes a little difficult to climb over you when we visit the bathroom, but we have got used to it. But what about you Tabby, don’t you think it is time to accept Fluffy as your friend. I notice that you never play together and now and again you spit at him.”
“It’s like Nera said” answered Tabby “a cat does not need a friend. Think of the advantages, if we don’t speak or like each other from the beginning, then we don’t have any problems. It seems to me, as a plain and simple cat naturally, that you humans have more problems with friends than without them.”
“That is not true Tabby, it is nice to have a friend to share with. You can go out together, visit the cinema or theatre and perhaps go shopping with each other. You can join a club together, or just invite for a coffee for a plain and simple talk. Friends are there to help when you have a problem.”
“What is she dribbling on about now” and Nera joined in again. “Have you ever seen me walking along outside paw in paw with one of those other smelly cats in the neighbourhood? Look at Bobinette next door, I wouldn’t be seen dead with her outside my territory. If I happen to walk through her garden she pounces on me and I have to fight my way back. As far as Roshti is concerned, the ginger cat from the other side, I had to show him how to behave. After he licked his wounds, he decided to keep away from my side of the fence.”
Fluffy joined in “I don’t like Nera, Mrs. Human, but she is right about not trusting other cats. We cats don’t have problems, at least not problems that we cannot solve ourselves. It is only because Nera and Tabby and I eat from the same source, that we don’t have to defend anything.”
“You mean that you don’t consider me as being your friend. I feed you, give you a nice warm place to sleep and even open the door for you when you want to go out in the middle of the night when I am sleeping. Not to mention taking you to the vet when you are ill. That is what friends are for.”
“Mrs. Human, if a cat could laugh I would” said Nera. First of all you feed us because we trained you to feed us. The programme with the tuna fish was a bit slow at the beginning but now you have learnt well. Next the nice warm place to sleep, is where we want to sleep. You did give us those cat cushions. Tabby, Fluffy and I prefer a nice pile of washing ready to be ironed on a sofa. Tabby does prefer the bathroom mat, and Fluffy seems to be happy sleeping in the living room. They are our choices, not yours. Of course you open the door for us in the middle of the night, early in the morning, or even during the day. Our wishes are to be fulfilled constantly. You do not want us to be the joke in the neighbourhood, all the other cats laughing because we have to stay inside when the door is closed. Last but not least, this vet thing. We do not want to go to the vet, we hate the vet and it interferes with our routine, so that is definitely not friendly. Admittedly there were times when we were feeling somewhat under the weather, and the vet helped with his medicine. We do not consider the once a year jabs a pleasant visit, not to mention the famous operations we all had when we were younger. We must admit that those kittens are a nuisance, but we were not asked. Those things are not very friendly.”
I gave up. It seems that cats are the most selfish, egoistic and unfriendly group to be found, but we just accept them. At least you know where you are with them; unfortunately this is not always the case with the humans.
Click here for more