"Come along now, make a nice neat row. Snails at the back please, we don't want you causing a traffic jam now do we."
"Hey spider are you organising this tour, and it's all free of charge?" said the bug
"Well you know I don't want to make a profit, after all we all live here really, I just thought it would be a good idea if we got to know each other." and the spider gave a sort of a crafty wink with the last comment.
"But what's the bit about donations?"
"Oh, you know bug. If you happen to find a fly just drop it in my web. After all at this time of the year there are enough of them flying around. Stupid creatures really."
"I think it is a good idea spider, we can really get to know each other. So come on colleagues, now don't push, we all have plenty of room in this garden."
"Just a minute" said the spider "I don't mind one or two ants coming along but not the whole tribe."
"Oh, well we are not used to going anywhere alone really. What do you think colleagues. Any volunteers to stay behind."
"I would say the guards should stay at the nest and about half of the workers. Is that ok spider?"
"Yes, ok, but don't spread out otherwise this tour will get a bit out of hand."
"Can we come to?" asked the earwig.
"Of course" answered the spider, the more the merrier, but don't get wandering off as soon as you see a greenfly or a puddle of water. So the tour now begins. Now everyone keep nicely together, butterflies, don't flutter too much, you might disturb the exhibits we will be looking at. So here is the first station of the tour. Just where the stones are we can see some firebugs very busy doing things."
"Well that is fairly obvious" said the bug. "After all it is the time of the year where we all start thinking about, well you know, preservation of the species I suppose you could call it."
"Well it looks fairly daft to me" said the ant. "Now our queen looks after all of that, we certainly don't walk around like that for the "preservation" of our species."
"Come along now" said the spider. "That is why we are going on this tour, so that you can see what is happening in other parts of the garden."
"Just look at that, now that is going to make a lovely meal. Come on colleagues, let's get some food."
"Well we thought it might be a good idea."
"It is not a good idea, now if you look to the right you will see something to delight the heart of a spider."
"Just a minute, we need a bit more time."
"Snails I told you to keep to the back, but you still have to keep in line. We cannot afford to wait for you. Otherwise just crawl onto a leaf and go to sleep. This tour is really only for the fit and lively.
Everyone please stop and look above. Now there we have an example of one of our lovely ladybirds."
"We are a different sort son. And who bothers with us. We are lucky. We can just scuttle under a stone or a leaf and hide. Ladybirds are always exposed. We just prefer to remain incognito. Ladybirds are just show-offs anyhow. Those humans just love them. Now would you like to be loved by a human. No, son. So just be happy that you are a normal black bug."
"Very wise madam" said the spider. And now we are coming to the end of our tour. All donations, especially flies, should be deposited in my web."
"No, no spider. We thank you for the tour, but we ants will place our donation next to the web. We believe in collective thinking, and placing things in a sticky spider's web could get dangerous. It might stick to us as well."
"Did you near son" said the mother bug to her son "do not go near the spider's web. They never do anything for nothing."
"Spider, thank you for the tour of the garden, but we butterflies will be on our way. You know flies are so stupid, they always practice their kamikazi flights into your web."
The spider waved goodbye to his tour visitors thinking he will have to try another trick next time to get some extra food rations.
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