Friday, 17 April 2009



Are they looking? No human to be seen. Did they know that the gate is open? Is it just a trick? Shall I take the chance or not? Oh the decisions in a cat’s life. I cannot really complain, I have been training my humans for the past year and they do follow quite well. There is always enough to eat, now and again a treat, some chicken or tuna fish and there is plenty of water. I did try to tell them that the water in the toilet is the best vintage in the house, but somehow they were not in agreement with that. It seems that humans just want to keep that water supply for themselves. Of course, I have lots of sleeping places I can use. Their beds are quite comfortable during the day and I even have my own cushion on the top of the play centre, very useful for keeping everything under control.

I have often been outside in their garden, chasing birds and butterflies. Up to now the birds are just a little bit too fast for me, but if you catch a butterfly, now that is a delicacy. This garden thing is quite good, but there the fun ends. I have often wondered what lies on the other side and now the chance is there. Of course, thinking about it, I do not really know what is on the other side. Here I am quite comfortable; get a tummy tickle now and again and a stroke between the ears. I have them all organised and I am the Queen. Out there, in the unknown, I might not have it so good. I think I will just walk over to the gate and put my nose out to see what is on the other side.

Smells quite interesting, a few scents I have not got in my collection up to now.

“Who are you” a voice came from the branch in a near bye tree.
“I am the chief cat around here. What are you, you do not look like a cat, but something I might be attempted to make a meal of.”
“I am a squirrel and live in this tree and you can only eat me if you catch me and I would not advise a climb up here.”
“I do not think that would be a problem, we cats are good climbers.”
“I am sure you are, but have you thought about afterwards?”
“What, afterwards?”
“Everything that goes up, should come down again, but you cats sometimes do tend to show off. I have seen many cats stuck up a tree and not knowing how to get back down again. The humans sometimes have to climb up the tree and carry them back. Now I am sure that would be degrading for a cat like you.”

This squirrel seems to know what he is talking about, I think I will leave him to his nuts and twigs, but in a way that he does not realise that he has got one over on me.”
“OK Squirrel, I think I will leave you in peace. You look a bit thin and not worth a meal and I have just had a fish supper at home with my humans.”

Funny creatures these squirrels; imagining they are more intelligent than a cat. So I think I will walk a bit further. Now this is going to be a bit tricky, I don’t mind a drink of water now and again but this water is moving very quickly and blocking the path. It is even too wide to jump over.

“Just what do you think you are doing here? Look a bit lost. Since when do cats swim?”
“We don’t have to swim; we drink water, not live in it. You look like an overgrown rat with big teeth.”
“You don’t have to be insulting; I am known as a beaver and need the teeth for chomping down wood to make a dam on this stream. By the way the bigger the teeth the more attractive, just ask my wife.”
“Yes he is right” said the wife “he is the most beautiful beaver here and when the children are born I am sure they will all take after their father and have wonderful big teeth.”
“Well I think I will just leave you to build your dam. Streams are not my sort of thing.

There are really some funny creatures living outside of my home. What is that I can hear, oh no, human voices accompanied by a sort of loud noise, commonly known as barking.”

“So here we are Fido, now we can let you off the line and you can have a nice free run in the woods.”
“Wuff, Wuff, I can smell cat, wuff, wuff”
And I can smell dog. Where is my gate, run for my life. Where is the familiar smell of my home and my humans.
“Wuff, wuff, cat is very near I can see him. Now for the chase.”
This is getting very uncomfortable, shall I turn, stand my ground and just give a ferocious growl or just run for my life, hoping that I find the way back.
“Hey cat, let’s have a game. I will chase and you will run away, but they call me the cat basher where I live, so you better be fast.”
Decision made, run for it.
“Hi cat” called the squirrel from the tree “you are in the right direction just keep going. You spared my life, so I will help you.”
“Thanks squirrel, come and see me some time.” And cat just kept running until he saw the welcoming open gate.
“Why look, Tiddles is back again. We are so happy and now we will shut the gate.”

So that was the story of my great escape. It was a nice trip but I was glad to get home again. Please stop laughing, I did not choose the name of Tiddles, that was my Mrs. Human. Oh, and the dog. Well he stood in front of the gate barking and then his humans caught up with him and told him to leave the nice little cat alone. I am now curled up in on my perch on the play centre and have found that there is nothing like home. I have decided to go into the garden again tomorrow, but no experiments with open gates. I know where I belong.

For Kira

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