The Great Sock Mystery

Doesn't that look idyllic, a nice path with two cats taking a walk. This morning when Mrs. X wanted to get the letters out of the postbox, just by the entrance to her appartement block, she was surprised to see something laying on the path. It had started raining, so whatever it was must be getting wet. Not wanting to have something laying around, which might even belong to her, and not wanting to be the talk of the neighbours who might not have anything better to do, she decided to investigate what it was.

They were huddled together in a damp patch - 3 socks, in dark colours. Now Mrs. X started thinking. She has 3 men at home (usually 2, but there were 3 at the moment as it was still holiday time and one had returned for 2 weeks holiday). The next thought was that all of her men wear dark socks, gone are the days when white socks were fashion, today it is either black or grey. It had been wash day this week and she remembered carrying a basket full of clean socks from the washing machine in the cellar up the stairs. Could it have been that perhaps 3 socks had fallen out of the basket and a particular neighbour, who sometimes has strange ideas, may have wanted to show that we do not leave socks on the stairs and had thrown them out on the path to teach Mrs. X a lesson. This is naturally an exception, all other neighbours generally hang over the bannisters anything found on the stairs to ensure it returns to their rightful owner. Mrs. X decided to collect the socks for further examination.

She asked her men one by one, if they were missing such socks at the present time. She had 3 negative answers. One was too small by far, which was obvious, and the other two just didn't fit into the pattern and no-one was missing anything at the moment. Breathing a sigh of relief, she decided to do the correct neighbourly thing and hang them over the staircase outside hoping that the rightful owner might claim them.

Of course, it could be that they did not belong to anyone in the house. Mrs. X was wondering if this was the case, who they could belong to. As the washing areas are all in the cellar, everyone having their own washing machine with room to go with it, they could of course belong to anyone. It was just strange to think that someone took the trouble of putting them in the middle of the path. Was this perhaps an omen that we have a sock stealer in the neighbourhood. I mean there are people who have fun stealing female underwear, it has even been known that washing rooms have been broken into for that purpose, but male socks - now that is strange. Perhaps it was a boy scout thing, a sort of orienteering hike, where the scounts had to find the other scout with the second sock, and prizes were awarded. However, this was ten o'clock in the morning.

During the day Mrs. X had other things to bother her. The car had a tyre that was loosing air. This was discovered when Mr. X realised at the car park, that the car was laying a bit one sided. As it was Saturday lunch time, not a lot could be done. However, it seems that the air is disappearing slowly, so with a bit of pumping up once a day it should be ok by Monday when it will go to the tyre doctor to be repaired.

It is now evening, dark outside. Mrs. X wondered if the socks were still there and decided to investigate. Yes they were still hanging there. Someone somewhere has 3 socks without the other sock, and probably also two feet with different sizes, as all socks seemed to be different sizes. She then thought if a neighbour, who had strange ways, had really put them on the path to cause havoc, then the neighbour must have done it in the late evening, or even at midnight, when no-one was around to notice. Mrs. X decided it would not be her thing to walk down that path when it was dark. We will perhaps never know. Mr. X told Mrs. X if they are still there tomorrow, dispose of them.

Back to work

Since 3rd January I have been back at work after almost two weeks holiday. Was I looking forward to getting back to the old routine - no, not really, absolutely not, I did not want to go back to work. Although we were suffering a bit from overcrowding at home due to the fact that No. 2 son was at home, I still enjoyed the days at home. Although No. 2 son was more saying goodbye and hello when he was at home, catching up on his friends and his billiard talents in the local hall. He is here until Sunday. Mr. Swiss is retired, No. 1 son also had a holiday, so it was Mrs. Anglo Swiss that was off to work. One advantage was that No. 1 son still had his holiday so I did not have to play chauffeur in the morning and I did stay a bit longer in the feathers.

I eventually arrived at work, tired but no so happy. There were still a few people who had taken the remainder of the week off, but we were enough to carry on the good work. Unfortunately if you work in export there are some countries that do not recognise Christmas and even have their new year a couple of weeks later, meaning that whilst we were celebrating, eating drinking and making the most of things, those countries were hard at work and couldn't wait for the machinery to start churning in our company and deliver some goods. I was actually hoping that there had perhaps been a flood in the company, an electric breakdown, or perhaps an enormous virus had attacked the computer laying it lame for the next month. No such luck, everything was up and running perfectly. I was running more or less perfectly and so was our coffee machine, thank goodness.

I was not sorry when the lunch break arrived as I was off to the local supermarket hunting for some food. Luckily the weather remained more or less under control, no snow, although it was cold and let's face it you don't get a view like this from every car park belonging to a shopping centre.

After filling the car boot with some trophies I made my way back to work. This afternoon, Friday, was a nice feeling knowing that at the end of the afternoon I had my freedom once again for the next two days. Things were fairly quiet at work and we managed to get everything done. Towards evening when I looked out of the window I noticed that nature was again playing one of its tricks on us and organised a nice sunset. Having my camera with me I naturally chose to take advantage of the situation, not heeding the remarks from my boss about I should have been a papparazzi photographer. My colleague opened the window and here is one of the results, although he said I should hurry up as it was getting cold.

As can be seen, we are situated in an industrial area and the railway lines from Zürich to Geneva pass by. The Swiss like to keep all the industry together, it doesn't spoil the perfect Swiss picture that way.

And that was more or less the start to "normal" life. We had one little bit of excitement this evening when someone (not me) managed to empty a full mug of coffee over the table in the living room - but the situation was soon brought under control with a few Swiss German words that I will not repeat and a roll of kitchen paper.

And now back to something normal (this evening's tv programme - again an episode of my favourite soap, the East Enders - thank goodness for cable tv, or satellite or whatever, we get 3 BBC programmes).

Writing Competition

About once a month a Forum Site that I sometimes visit, has a writing competition. It is a small community, and there are usually about 4-6 entries. The entries are criticised and praised and there is always a winner that may choose the subject for the next competition. I enjoy writing and like taking part, just to see how good (or bad) my writing is. This time we were given the subject of "The Pipe" and had to use various words such as the devil, and tin hat. I really only take part for the fun of it, and here is my entry for the last competition.

The Pipe

"Jim, what’s that noise I can hear“

“I can’t hear anything, Annie, must be your imagination”

“Typical, I think if an atom bomb went off next door, Jim would still think that someone dropped a paper handkerchief”

“Annie, did you say anything”.

“No, no, just talking to myself – as usual”

“Now, don’t be silly, if you worked in a factory all day long, your hearing wouldn’t be so good any more either”.

Annie decided to have another try. There was a metallic clanking noise somewhere in the heating and she was sure things were not normal. It was Summer and the heating had not been switched on for the last three months.

“Jim, there seems to be a noise coming from the pipe leading to the radiator. I am sure there is something moving in there.”

“In other words I should take the whole thing apart just to keep you happy. It might just be a mouse that took the wrong turning and found his way into the heating. Just leave him there, he’ll probably find his way out eventually. I mean it’s just a mouse and not the devil taking a walk to see what things are like outside of hell”.

“Jim, it might be just a mouse, but it sounds like he is armed with a sword and tin hat from the noise he’s making and if he doesn’t find the way out, he will probably take his last breath in our heating, die and start smelling by the time Winter comes”.

Jim was beginning to loose patience with Annie. She could really go on sometimes about things that were just not important. At the moment the first priority in Jim’s life was to study the horses in the newspaper to see who was going to win at one of the race meetings. After all, that was a complicated mathematical equation he had to sort out and he really didn’t want to be occupied with the life and death of a stupid mouse that had taken the wrong turning.

“Jim, are you listening to me, take your nose out of that newspaper and do something”

“Annie, give me a piece of cheese”

“A piece of cheese, now why do you need a piece of cheese?”

“Mice like cheese, so if I put a piece of cheese next to the radiator, the mouse will be tempted to come out and then we can get rid of him” and Jim returned to his newspaper.

“Jim, I think you have made a mistake with your brilliant idea. We don’t know how the mouse got into the pipe, so how do we know where to put the cheese. Perhaps you would shift your …..”

“Shift my what? Woman just leave me in peace. Do you really think I am going to turn my quiet Saturday afternoon upside down just because of a mouse. We don’t even know if it is a mouse, now do we?”

“That’s true Jim, but if you can’t be bothered to do more than just put a piece of cheese next to the pipes, we will never know, will we – at least not until Winter when the house will probably be smelling of fried mouse. It might even be a rat.”

“OK, OK, no peace for the wicked as they say. I will get the spanner, open the heating and see if something runs out.”

“And what are you planning to do when the mouse or rat runs out. You will have to have something else in your hands than the daily newspaper to kill it with. Take a book off the shelf, the dictionary is the heaviest we have. Where are you going now Jim. I thought you was going to do something about the mouse?”.

“First of all I have to go and turn the water off, I don’t think we want our poor little mouse or rat to drown when I open the heating, now do we?”

“There’s no need to get sarcastic.”

So Jim went to the cellar and turned off the heating and came back to the living room with a spanner. He then started to loosen the joint between the radiator and the pipe.

“Where are you going woman, I might need some help”.

“Thought I would put the kettle on for a cup of tea”, said Annie although she did not really like the idea of a mouse, or even worse a rat, running free in the house, so decided it was time to disappear into the kitchen.

“Typical” thought Jim “All I wanted was a quiet afternoon working out my bets on the horses, and now I have to dismantle the heating to find a mouse, which probably doesn’t even exist.”

Jim turned the spanner and with a jerk he dislodged the pipe which crashed onto the floor breaking into two pieces.

“What’s the noise Jim, anything happen?”

“No nothing happened, except that I fell flat on my back with a spanner in my hands and the pipe broke into two pieces.”

“Did the mouse come out?”

“I don’t know Annie, everything went a bit too fast to see if the mouse came out, All I know is that we now have a radiator and a broken pipe which I will have to be replaced by the local maintenance men and my quiet afternoon is one big catastrophe.”

“But you must have noticed if there was a mouse in the radiator pipes, I mean they do leave traces”

“Sorry, Annie, but the only traces I have seen up to now are rusty water stains on the carpet and ,a piece of cheddar cheese squashed by the weight of a heavy dictionary that fell off the shelf.”

“Why didn’t you call me, I could have helped.”

“I didn’t want to disturb while you were making a pot of tea.”

As repair men are, they don’t always come when called, but eventually after a week of waiting the radiator was replaced together with a new length of pipe costing what Jim thought was a fortune.

Two evenings later Jim was filling out his football coupon when Annie called.

“Jim, can you hear that noise in the heating pipe – a sort of scraping sound”

Jim did plead not guilty at the trial, but the jury found that the cause of the injuries on his wife’s skull could not result from the fact that the spanner had only fallen out of Jim’s hands as he had tripped on the carpet on the way back from the cellar after turning the water off. There seemed to be quite a force used to cause her skull to break in two places and Jim was eventually sentenced to ten years for murder. He became quite well known in prison for having the best collection of trained mice in his cell.

The Swiss are worried

Well, the title is a bit dramatic, but if the worse comes to worse, then Switzerland will be confronted with one of its biggest problems. Even the gnomes in the Swiss Banks cannot help this time. Whilst the Swiss chocolate is being churned out, and the Emmentaler and Gruyère cheese is being sold over the world, an Swiss institution to every day life is being threatened.

It is called the "cervelat" which I will not and cannot interpret. It is a Swiss sausage. Not just a sausage, but it can been eaten raw, fried (the ends should be cut crosswise), made into a salad (mixed with tomato, cucumber, or whatever) and if you are clever you can slice it in a way that it resembles a slice of meat, to be fried. What could be more versatile. I remember my early days of family life, when Swiss mother-in-law showed me tips and tricks of the Swiss cuisine. The cervelat was ever present. If you couldn't get to the shops for some reason or other and had a pair cervelat in the fridge, then the days food was saved. Skin them and fry them. You can even cut them into slices, or just prod them with a fork. Five minutes on each side in the frying pan with some fat and they were ready. Served together with what you like - pasta, potato, rice - you name it, the cervelat fits.

If Swiss family go for a hike in the mountains, you take a rücksack with you. What fits better in the rücksack than a few pair of cervelat. If you are feeling adventurous, and find a clearing in a forest, you collect some twigs. A fire is lit and the cervelat is threaded onto a twig laying around. Again 5-10 minutes held over the open flame and you already have your Swiss home-made b-b-q. This is no joke, when the kids were small we often went on a day's walk and stopped somewhere for our "lunch". If you don't feel like setting part of the woods on fire, you can eat them as they come. Just peel them and together with bread they supply a full meal out in the open.

Every country has something that you miss when you go on holiday or have to live abroad. I remember on my first trips home to London from Switzerland I always filled up my luggage with english biscuits, Cadbury Milk Flakes (still my favourite today although I have to leave the sweet stuff out), some irish pork sausages. Americans may take their favourite peanut butter on holiday with them - these days they can get hamburger everywhere, or perhaps their favourite pop tart. What did my son do when he landed at Geneva Airport before boarding the train home a week ago, he bought a cervelat at the airport to help him on the way. Aromat used to be the thing for every Swiss to take with him, but even that can now be bought worldwide.

So why are the Swiss trembling and worried about their cervelat. Actually Mr. Swiss told me about it (who else?). Apparently the skins for the Swiss Cervelat are not Swiss but are imported from Brasil. Apparently the Brasilian gut is suitable because of its thickness (32-34 mm). Other countries cannot supply this size. For example Argentinia gut contains too much fat, and would be too thick. This would mean that the cervelat would increase somewhat in weight and the packing material would have to be enlarged. Using artificial gut is also not a solution. Although it is used on most sausages these days, it would increase the price of the cervelat considerably. I forgot to mention that for one Swiss franc twenty cents it is a very reasonable sausage. It seems that the EU have forbidden the import of beef gut from Brasil into Switzerland because of the dangers of BSE. The threat is real and many Swiss now have sleepless nights wondering how the situation will develop.

I don't mind a cervelat, but it is not exactly my favourite sausage. It just doesn't go with the HP Sauce that I always have to buy to bring back from England on my annual trip.

New Year's Day - A new Start

Now who do we have here. Well it's crowd of Swiss people, the citizens, the tax payers, the workers and senior citizens, in any case they are all supposed to be Swiss. And who are the people amongst them marked with a "X" or a "P". This is the annual picture of the Swiss Government, something like a school photo. The one we all had done once a year where the tallest person was sorted out to be put in the middle and the rest of the class was arranged around that person (in my case I was always the tallest person - that's why I know the rules). In the case of the Swiss Government every year a group photo is made in January as we then have a new Government. Well the government is not completely new, but in December it is decided who may stay and who not. Generally everyone stays unless voted out (an exception, but it happened this year) or they retire.

It was decided this year to do a different thing with the group photo and as our Swiss government wanted to show theselves as the "men on the street" and you can see them posing amongst the people. Whether this is a so-called "photo montage" or genuine, I do not know. All I knew was when I wanted to do a simple copy paste or download of the photo it didn't work. However, I have devious ways and means on my computer of getting what I want and thanks to "print key" I managed to get the photo. Now how does anyone looking at this blog (the few of you) know who I am talking about when I say the Swiss government. I then processed the photo in Fireworks and marked the government ministers with a "X" and our President for the year - Mr. Couchpin (pronounced Kooshpan - he is french speaking) is marked with a "P". I wonder how many governments could be photographed in such a small group, but there we have it small country (approximately 7,000,000 inhabitants) and small government, however we tend to think big now and again (especially when it is a question of whether we should pay more tax and whether the sickness insurances should be raised).

Otherwise 1st January is fairly normal in Switzerland. Very quiet in the morning, everyone recovering from the night before. Although it was just me and Mr. Swiss we were up and having our glass of champagne at midnight. We even had a treat and dug out one of the old DVD's - African Queen with Humphrey Bogart and Kathleen Hepburn, they sure don't make films like that any more. Two evenings ago we watched North by Northwest with Cary Grant and Eve Marie Saint, one of Hitchcock's best - why go to the pictures (movies) when you can see all the great films at home. Son No. 2 phoned at midnight from his party somewhere in Lichtenstein to wish a happy new year and son No. 1 was somewhere in town with his colleagues. I planned on a good meal today with very little cooking effort and everyone was happy.

I put away a plate full for son No. 2 who arrived home from Liechtenstein around 3 in the afternoon, tired but happy. After all Lichtenstein is only 2-3 hours away by train. That is the trains do not go any further than the Swiss border and you then have to get a bus to the capital city of Liechtenstein, Vaduz. Liechtenstein is a curious country. I was there once with Mr. Swiss. It is a sort of long road and on each side there are small villages. It stretches from South to North and they have a sort of royal family that have their say in the politics. At the moment Prince Hans Adam II is in charge over approx. 35,000 citizens (even smaller than Switzerland). He has a nice castle up on a hill.





This is a photo of the castle with their Prince Hans Adam waving to everyone. Their currency is Swiss Francs, although they are members of the EU (which was ordered by Prince Hans Adam, otherwise he said he would move out). I think the most famous thing about Liechtenstein is the postage stamps. They do have a football team as well. They speak German, but also a dialect similar to the East Swiss German dialect. If you understand Swiss German (which I do - ha ha) then you understand the Liectensteiner as well. You don't need to show the passport when travelling from Switzerland to Lichtenstein. They do have industry, one of the biggest companies situated in Liechtenstein being the company Hilti, which is quite well-known in the engineering world.

Actually I just wanted to say a few words to 1st January. It is also an important day for me as treasurer of the local first aid society. I have to finalise last year's accounts and start this years accounts, although I have time until our next meeting some time at the end of January. Tomorrow is my last day of freedom - St. Bartholomew's day. On 3rd January it is back to work. I hope it doesn't rain (it will freeze) or snow or anything in that line of things, otherwise I will not go to work until nine in the morning. Generally I start at 07.15.

New Year's Eve - Swiss German, Sylvester

There were a few things to get done today - the last trimmings to our food supplies over the New Year holidays - here in Switzerland everything is closed until 3rd January as besides today and New Year's day we also celebrate St. Bartholomew's Day on 2nd January. The problem was I had an appointment with a big machine at the hospital at eleven in the morning so had to do some strategic planning, although Mr. Swiss was available for any help.

I decided that before doing anything I would go shopping first of all. Yesterday in rained a little bit and through the night we had temperatures of -5° C. This morning it was a bit warmer with -2°C but as it was a clear sunny day I decided to make my way to the shopping centre. That was mistake No. 1 as I nearly got killed on my way. Well not exactly, but when I drove out of the garage I turned left as usual. My car didn't seem to want to turn left, although it did at the beginning but then went right and left again which made things rather scary. My car was in perfect condition, the problem was that there was one ice surface leading to the main road. Being alone in the car with no Mr. Swiss to advise, I had to make my own decisions. I am not the praying type, but if I was I think I would have offered a couple upwards. I decided that putting my foot on the brakes would not help, I switched on the "W" programme for Winter, but I think you should only use that for snow etc. Eventually I crawled up the hill turned 3 corners and was still in one piece (and the car) by the time I reached the road. Afterwards it was all main road to the shopping centre although I had a very careful foot on the accelerator. When I arrived at the shop I met a neighbour who lived in the top half of the village. He told me they had -6° up on the hill and he had the same problem. We then had a discussion about how to get home again afterwards, and decided if we were lucky it might be a bit warmer. After getting my shopping I drove home and it was a bit warmer, but not perfect. I let out a sigh of relief when I arrived back in the garage.

Afterwards Mr. Swiss took me up to the hospital, which is also on a hill (everything seems to be on hills in this country), but the roads had warmed up a bit. Eventually he picked me up and we drove home where I could have more fun cooking lunch. Son No. 2 is staying with us at the moment for 2 weeks holiday, as he actually works in another country in Europe. It is nice to have him home, but I am glad to say that home for him over the last week and this week is hotel mama. Sort of a place to sleep and eat and relax, otherwise he does seem to be on the road a lot, catching up on his pool billard skills most of the time. Today he left us to spend the New Year in Lichtenstein (where?).

We had a bit of excitement after lunch. In this cold weather my cats are usually at home. Nera, the boss prefers to just observe various situations from a high place somewhere.

Tabby was sleeping on the bathroom floor (floor heating on a nice soft bathroom carpet) and Fluffy decided to go out in the garden in the sun. As Fluffy is blind he is usually kept on a long lead attached to a pole. We then had a visit from the new cat in town. The cat keepers (cats don't have owners, do they?) moved in about 2 months ago and since we have constant visits from a ginger/white cat who is exploring the neighbourhood. Although not a kitten, we would judge him as being about 8-9 months old. Old enough to go out on his own, but not old enough to realise that he doesn't own the place. I then noticed that Fluffy and new cat were getting a bit closer to each other. Up to now there have only been negative remarks between my cats and the new one, more like "clear out or else" from my cats.

Although Fluffy is completely blind, he knows exactly when his territory is invaded. It came to the point where the new cat growled and my Fluffy screamed or hissed, or whatever cats do. I just wanted to separate them (dangerous work) when Bobinette from next door arrived on the scene and chased ginger/white cat out of the garden. Although she doesn't like Fluffy and Fluffy doesn't like her, I suppose it's a sort of territorial thing. I mean Saddam Hussein didn't like the Iran, but even they got a bit closer together in the first war about Kuwait. Anyhow to get back to the feline war raging in my garden, Bobinette from next door positioned herself outside in her garden and began observing the development of the situation. Her human came out and we had one of those neighbourly discussions and wished each other a happy new year.

I spent part of the afternoon having a talk with No. 2 son about the music we used to listen to. He gave me a few good ideas and so I spent part of the afternoon developing my new play list that I have now fitted up on my blogging sites. I am sure that it gets on most people's nerves, but if you go to the top lefthand corner there is a device on it where you can switch it off. I find it quite fun, although to be quite honest there are some sites I visit where other music does nerve me a bit, but you can always turn the sound off.

This evening it will be No. 1 son, me and Mr. Swiss for our evening meal. No. 1 son will then go into town and we will see him again next year. I am not unhappy. If I happen to be awake at midnight I will have a small glass of champis to welcome 2008. In any case I wish anyone reading this day in the life of me a very happy new year and may 2008 be a wonderful blogging year for all.

Reservoir Cats 30

Slimy: Now that was real interesting that stuff about Al Catone.
Tabby: Yes, it was, let’s ask Reggie or Ronnie Crat what happened. After all it was their dad that was leading the Black Paw Gang when Al Catone arrived.
Reggie, do you know anything about Al Catone.
Reggie Crat: Al Catone, now you are talking about legends. ‘e saved us all really, didn’t ‘e Ronnie.
Ronnie Crat: Well I was only a kitten at the the time, but I remember me mum and dad talking about ‘im as an ‘ero.
Slimy: Wot ‘appened.
Ronnie Crat: Well after Al Catone arrived ‘e joined up wiv our dad’s gang, but dad realised then that ‘e was somefing special. See, ‘e was a good organiser. Never said much, but his eyes and ears were everywhere. At the time when ‘e arrived there were a lot of lazy cats in the gang. Only interested in their own fing really. Used to catch mice they did and just ‘id them away. Then Al came along…….

Al Catone: Reggie Senior, can I have a few words with you .
Reggie Senior: Why somefing don’t suit you ‘ere.
Al Catone: Where I came from my dad led our gang and anyone that cheated him could be lucky when he escaped with his life.
Reggie Senior: Are you telling me that some of my gang are cheating on me.
Al Catone: Well, when was the last time that you caught a mouse, or had your share of a mouse.
Reggie Senior: Well, let me think, that was last week. Mice seem to be a bit scarce at the moment.
Al Catone: I followed Jack McCattie down the sewers last week. He didn’t see me, but he had four of his sons with him. They must have caught at least 10 mice between them.
Reggie Senior: That can’t be, all mice ‘ave to be delivered to me when caught.
Al Catone: Well he just takes them up to the cemetery and hides them under the stone of the second grave on the left. Keep an eye on him when he goes out. I am sure he is dealing with them.
Reggie Senior: Mice dealing, no, not possible under my nose.
Al Catone: Just keep an eye on him, and see what he is doing.
Reggie Senior: Ronnie Senior, come ‘ere. Al Catone was just telling me that Jack McCattie is doing mice dealing wiv ‘is sons. Fink we ought to keep an eye on ‘im just in case.

Jack McCattie: ‘Allo Reggie, Ronnie, ow’s fings?
Ronnie Senior: A bit slow at the moment. Me and Reggie Senior was wondering where the mice ‘ave gone. Only caught one last week down in the sewers.
Jack McCattie: Ya don’t say. Probably all fell in the sewers and drowning.
Ronnie Senior: Well I never ‘eard of mice falling in sewers. I mean if they were lemmings it would be a different story wouldn’t it?
Jack McCattie: Tell you wot. I’ll ‘elp ya look for em tomorrow.
Ronnie Senior: Tomorrow is a bit late, I was finking this evening we could organise a search party.
Jack McCattie: This evening won’t be a good idea. I ‘eard that the country cats might be planning a raid and ‘ave to keep a watch wiv me sons on the main path into town.
Ronnie Senior: Well that’s new to me. I fought the country cats were all nice and polite.
Jack Mc Cattie: Well you never know, I mean that don’t even speak like we do, do they. Needs someone like me and me boys to keep an eye on fings. Don’t worry though, we ‘ave everyfing under control.

Reggie Senior: And that’s wot Jack McCattie told ya. Sounds a bit dodgy to me. Never ‘eard of country cats coming ‘ere to make a raid.
Al Catone: I think it might be a good idea to shadow Jack McCattie this evening. Do you have a couple of trustworthy cats here.
Ronnie Senior: Well our kittens ain’t really kittens any more and gathering their experience in town. We can take them. Wot d’ya fink Reggie Senior?
Reggie Senior: Well my two boys, Ronnie and Reggie, are still too small for that sort of fing. But If ya can take your boys together with Al Catone, I fink that will be enough to keep an eye on fings. Let’s go and ‘ave a look at the second grave on the left first to see if Al Catone is telling the truth.
Al Catone: Maladetta, we catafia cats always tell the truth, we have to swear an oath on that, holding a live rat in our paws for at least a minute. And if he bites you still have to hold him. After the minute is up, we can kill him and then do what we want with him. That separates the honest from the liars.
Reggie Senior: Well didn’t want to insult you Al Catone, but we ain’t acquainted so much wiv the catafia methods. Sounds a good idea.
Ronnie Senior: Well, ‘ere is the grave and I can already smell mouse.
Reggie Senior: And wot’s that mouse tail peeping out from under that stone there. Al Catone, giv it a shuv.
Al Catone: So what did I say. There they are, at least 10 mice, all freshly killed.
Reggie Crat: Ronnie take em down to our storeroom under next in the tomb at the entrance to our sleeping area. They will stay nice a fresh there. I fink we will all go on a little excursion this evening. Make sure yer claws are nice and sharp and yer boys’ claws as well Ronnie.

Jack McCattie: So come’on sons, get those mice ready there.
Sons: Wot about the lot we got stowed away at the second grave on the left.
Jack McCattie: We only caught them yesterday, so they are still fresh. If we ain’t got enuf, we can come back and get them can’t we.
Sons: OK dad, but don’t you reckon this is a bit of a risky business if we get caught.
Jack McCattie: Not if your as sly as I am. Reggie and Ronnie Senior wouldn’t notice if a mouse sat on their nose when they were sleeping.
Sons: Looks like that big black cat from the country cats is coming.
Jack McCattie: Hello Mr. Black, got yer gang wiv yer.
Mr. Black. Of course, I can’t carry a bag of cat nip all on my own. How many mice do you want to pay this evening.
Jack McCattie: Normal price I fought. Ten mice for one bag.
Mr. Black. Sorry Jack, but times are changing. My gang want a bit more than that. They had a lot of work gathering all this cat nip from the fields and if I got caught by the other cats in the country, they might get a bit annoyed seeing where the catnip harvest disappears to. They already have a few suspicions.
Jack McCattie: So wot’s yer price
Mr. Black: 20 mice, take it or leave it.
Jack McCattie: 20 mice, that’s double as much.
Mr. Black: The catnip market is no problem at the moment. There are a few cats up at the farms that wouldn’t mind some, so is it a deal or not.
Jack McCattie: Sons go and get the other 10 mice.

Al Catone: Looks like our job of work will be dealt with by fate,
Ronnie Senior: ‘Ow comes.
Al Catone: When Jack McCattie’s boys see that their mouse reserve has disappeared I think justice will take its own course, Let’s just wait and watch. No good making our paws blunt on a bag of cat scum like Jack McCattie.

Sons: Dad, the mice have gawn.
Jack McCattie: Wot, gawn. We ‘id em under the gravestone ourselves.
Mr. Black: So I’m waiting. I don’t like people playing games with me. Me and my gang have trotted all the way down the road to town and now we get nothing for our troubles. Gang, pack the cat nip away, I think Jack McCattie is not to be trusted any more.
Jack McCattie: Awww, wot was that
Mr. Black: OK gang, just give this town pack of cats a lesson they won’t forget. That was a scratch on the nose from me. You can be glad to get away with one of your nine lives this evening McCattie.
Sons: Dad, they are attacking us. Let’s make a run for it.
Jack McCattie. Don’t leave me alone ‘ere, those country cats ain’t playing games.
Mr. Black: McCattie, this is the last warning. The next time I catch you messing up a deal like this, you can be glad they don’t find you floating in the river with a rat where your heart was.
Jack McCattie: Wait for me boys I’m coming.

Reggie Crat: Now, what do we ‘ave ‘ere. I fought you was protecting our town from a country cat raid this evening.
Jack McCattie: Well they didn’t turn up
Ronnie Crat: It seems to me that they did. Where did you get that scratch on yer nose and ‘ow comes yer tail is waggling like a puppy. Anyfing wrong McCattie.
Jack McCattie: I fell down and scratched me nose on a stone.
Al Catone: Did that stone look like a big black cat speaking with a country accent together with other cats all carrying catnip.
Jack McCattie: Don’t know wot yer talking about.
Reggie Crat Senior: Ronnie think we will take a walk down to the tomb at the entrance to our sleeping quarters.
Ronnie Crat Senior: Now just look at that Jack. Wot ‘ave we got ‘ere. 10 little dead mice, just waiting to be eaten.
Sons: Look dad, that’s where our mice got too.
Jack McCattie: ‘old yer miaws sons, this could lead to trouble.
Al Catone: You already have the trouble McCattie. Cheating on you cat family. What shall we do with you. I will leave the decision to Ronnie and Reggie Crat Senior.
Ronnie and Reggie Crat Senior: A month down in the sewers and a delivery of 20 mice a week to the black paw gang. Got it McCattie. Yer sons can stay up ‘ere wiv their muvver just to put them on the right cat path again.
Jack McCattie: No, not the sewers, I will smell for ever.
Reggie Cray Senior: Only for as long as we don’t throw you in the fountain for a good wash when you come up. Wot d’ya fink Al Catone.
Al Catone: A good punishment. that’s the result of dealing in catnip and mice. My dad always left his fingers away from catnip dealing. It corrupts the kittens. They just don’t grow up to be serious cats.
Ronnie Crat senior: Well you got a point there Al Catone.
Al Catone: It’s more than a point, and if I may say, it seems to me that you and your brother Reggie are letting things slip a bit around here. Mice just don’t disappear, unless there is a reason behind it. I think it is about time that I started giving the instructions around here, or do you want the black paw gang to know how Jack McCattie pulled the whiskers over your eyes..
Reggie Crat senior: ‘e’s got a point there Ronnie. We would look at bit stupid I suppose.
Ronnie Crat Senior: Sounds like you want to take over Al Catone.
Al Catone: Well either I take over and do things my way, or you two will be the laughing stock and can be happy when you still have your claws tomorrow. If the catafia had found out that my dad had been cheated out of mice, there wouldn’t have been a cat left to tell the story.
But I don’t want to be too harsh on you two, after all you took me in and looked after me well. I could really do with a good gang like the black paws. What about things carrying on the way they have been and I just pull the whiskers.
Ronnie Crat Senior: Well you do ‘ave a point and me and Reggie ain’t getting any younger I suppose.
Reggie Crat Senior: There is just another little point to this deal. I always fought that me kittens, Reggie and Ronnie, could grow up to take over the Black Paw Gang. I ‘ave sort of started training them for the job. Like showing them ‘ow to organise the other kittens.
Al Catone: Reggie I find that’s a good idea. It stays in the family, and you and your brother Ronnie Crat Senior have so much experience, I think it would be a good idea.
Ronnie Crat Senior: Take my paw on it Al, if you are fair with me then I will be fair with you.
Reggie Crat Senior: And me to, it’s a deal

Tabby: And that’s how Al Catone became boss of the town gang.
Slimy: That’s a lovely story ain’t it.
Long Tail Al: Wot’s a lovely story Slimy.
Slimy: Ronnie and Reggie Crat were telling us a bit more about Al Catone and ‘ow he got rid of Jack McCattie and took over the town cats.
Tabby: He must have been a very wise cat.
Long Tail Al: Oh, he was, the best dad you could ‘ave.
Tabby: He was my grandfather?