Neera Goes to Hollywood

A film extract from the Neverending Story showing Gmork the Werewolf gave me the idea for this story

It all began when Mrs. Human got a letter with an American stamp on it. She was not expecting anything from America and looking at the postmark saw it was stamped Hollywood, California, which really surprised her.
“What have you got there” asked Mr. Human “a letter from America”
“Yes, strange” she answered
“ Well you had better open it and see what’s in it”.

It was an invitation from a film studio. Mrs. Human was often on the computer and had some photos of her 3 cats on various web sites. The letter read as follows:

“Dear Mrs. Human

It has come to our attention that one of your cats, Nera, would be ideal for our next film production. We saw a film of her on a video web site and she would fit into the role perfectly.

We would cordially invite you to our studios in Hollywood with your cat Nera for filming sessions. We would cover all expenses for the flight and also for our special hotel which accommodates animals and their owners for the length of filming. In this case we would need at least 5 days. Food and care for Nera would be provided. Please mail us to let us know if you can come next week and we will confirm arrangements etc. etc.”

Mrs. Human was overjoyed – a chance to visit Hollywood with all expenses paid and her cat would become famous in the film world. Mr. and Mrs. Human had a long discussion making plans for the visit. Mr. Human would naturally remain at home to look after Nera’s sister Tabby and her adopted brother Fluffy.

The cats were naturally not stupid and heard about the arrangements to be made.

Nera: At last my natural talent has been recognised. Did you hear Tabby and Fluffy, I am going to Hollywood to make a film.
Tabby: Oh dear, Nera, I must tell Mrs. Human to make sure the door is made wider when you come back to make sure your head gets through it.
Fluffy: Nera can you bring me one of those diamond studded collars back – I saw a film once on the TV about pets in America and they are all wearing one.
Nera: Tabby I can’t help if your type is not wanted for the film being made. They need a beautiful black cat with long silky fur. Sorry, but shorthaired Tabbies are not in fashion this year. Fluffy I don’t know whether I will have time to do some shopping in Hollywood, after all I will be busy filming. I might even meet Garfield – he is such a talented cat – he might even fall for me.
Tabby: Other cats don’t fall for cats like us – remember our visit to the vet Nera.
Nera: Who cares, he might give me a paw print to bring home as a souvenir.
Fluffy: Can I have one too Nera?
Nera: Sorry Fluffy, but I don’t think Garfield will be interested in giving a curly cat a paw print. To compensate you may have one of mine when I get back.

The day of departure soon arrived. The film company had sent a wonderful comfortable carrying basket for Nera as the flight would be quite long for a cat and they wanted to make sure she would be comfortable. Nera was very excited as she had never been in a plane before. As a treat Mrs. Human gave her some fresh salmon when they boarded the plane. Nera did not realise that cat tranquilisers had been mixed with the salmon, but she slept soundly through the flight and only woke up to the noise of the engines of the plane when they were landing at the airport.

They were picked up at the airport by a chauffeur driven stretch limousine with a separate compartment for Nera with enough room for her to have a sniff around and stretch her legs, after all she had been couped up in a cage through the nine hour flight. She had a stretch and stood on her back legs and looked out of the car widow, but quickly sat down again. Being a country cat, she had never seen so many people and other cars at once. She was glad to arrive at the hotel where she had a special area in the hotel room for herself. It was very spacious and she could walk around and had all sorts of cat toys and climbing apparatus to keep her fit. Mrs. Human was in the same room so Nera did not feel alone or neglected. Nera even had a special attachment which lead to the window and could go out onto the balcony of the hotel to get some fresh air. She like being in high places where she could keep her eye on everything, but she was on the 20^th floor of the hotel and that was just a little bit too high.

After her first night in the hotel the next morning she was picked up with Mrs. Human by a limousine and they were taken to the film studios. Now the real work started. Nera was groomed and treated with all sorts of creams and oils for her fur. This routine was carried out for 3-4 days until the film had been made. Nera noticed that before any filming was done she was always shown a film of wild birds on a tree. This made Nera especially curious and everytime they filmed she was quite excited after seeing these birds which really made her look a bit aggressive. As a reward for the filming she was always given a fish or chicken dinner afterwards.

Mrs. Human was always nearby when filming sessions took place. Mrs. Human was also taken on a sightseeing trip of the film studios and naturally asked if it would be possible for Nera to come as well as she would like to see Garfield so much. Of course, this was arranged. It was just a little bit disappointing for Nera when she saw that Garfield was just a drawing and not a real life cat. However, to compensate Mrs. Human was given a video of the latest Garfield film and Nera and Mrs. Human could watch the film in the hotel room in the evening.

The five days were soon over. The filming was a success and Nera and Mrs. Human were taken to the airport where they boarded the plane for home.

Meanwhile Tabby and Fluffy were at home waiting for Nera to come back. Mr. Human looked after the cats well while Nera was away. Fluffy sort of missed Nera. Nera was such an intelligent cat and impressed Fluffy with her great knowledge. If Fluffy wanted to know something (the most tasty bird, how to catch a mouse etc. etc.) Nera always knew the answer. As Nera was Tabby’s litter sister, Tabby was looking forward to Nera’s return. It was as if something was missing in her life. The two cats were of course, both looking forward to Nera’s return to see the film she had made and to hear all the news about Hollywood.

Eventually Mrs. Human and Nera arrived home, both tired from the long journey. Nera jumped out of her carrying cage, went for a sniff in her home, found that everything was in its right place, curled up in her bed on top of the wardrobe and dropped off to sleep. Tabby and Fluffy were pleased to see her but realised there was no point in bothering Nera with questions until she had got over the jet lag so they waited until the next day.

The next morning Nera went for her morning walk as usual and Tabby and Fluffy were waiting for her when she got back.

Tabby: Nera, tell me all about it – did you see Garfield, how was Hollywood
Nera: Well you know Garfield is very important and was so surrounded by his manager and other people I just didn’t want to disturb him. But I must say those Hollywood stars are not really the way you see them in the films. The films are all makeup and the dangerous scenes are done by stunt cats (Nera thought it would be better not to tell Tabby and Fluffy that Garfield was just a drawing – she was still trying to overcome her own disappointment.)Fluffy: Does that mean you didn’t get his paw print?
Nera: Cats like Garfield really don’t have time for giving paw prints. However, his manager gave our human a copy of his latest film on video which we watched in the evening in the hotel room.
Tabby: But what about your film. When can we watch that? – tell us all about it. Are you famous, does everyone know you?
Nera: Tabby films are not made in a day. The film will only be complete in a couple of months and then it can be seen. Of course, I would be famous, but I didn’t really want a fan club to be made for me, I saw how the famous cats never have any peace and quiet. They are always being bombarded by their fans for paw prints and photos. You know how I like to avoid so much publicity.

Two months later Tabby and Fluffy still hadn’t seen Nera’s film.

Tabby: Nera, what about your famous film, you don’t say much about it. Isn’t it about time we saw how it turned out.
Fluffy: I want to see the film as well. Nera has it now been released?
Nera: Not yet, just be patient.

Two days later the cats heard how Mrs. Human told Mr. Human that Nera’s film was now in the cinema and she had received a copy for home. In the evening Mr. Human switched on the tv and to watch the film.

Tabby: Nera your film is about to start, if we get up on the table we can watch it as well.
Fluffy: make room for me, I want to see it too.
Nera: I am sure our humans will watch the film quite often, I would rather have a cat nap at the moment.
Tabby: Nera, now is the result of your first Hollywood film and you want to have a cat nap.
Fluffy: Come and look at the film with us Nera.
Nera: I want to have a sleep hiss, hiss
Tabby: Nera something somewhere is funny – now come and look at this film with us.
Nera: Do I really have to, after all I know what it is about.
Fluffy: How can you expect to become famous if you don’t even look at your own film?
Tabby: Yes, for a change Fluffy is right.

Now why was Nera so reluctant to watch her film. Here is a still from the film.
(Due to copyright reasons an actual film extract cannot be shown - actually it shows
Gmork from The Neverending Story which mostly was filmed in Germany and naturally not Hollywood)

Tabby: Well Nera, we always knew that you had talent
Fluffy: Nera - is that what they call a horror film
Nera: Hiss Hiss - No Fluffy it is not a horror film, it is a historical film and has a very deep meaning. The rôle I played needed a lot of concentration and only a gifted cat can play the part
Tabby: Yes, Nera of course (sniggering behind her paw). It really needs talent to show such examples of gifted acting. How many mice did they hide from you to get such a good result?
Nera: Now don't get sarcastic. It is just unbelievable what jealousy can do to cats when they realise that other cats are so talented like me.
Tabby: Fluffy, I think a cat nap would do us good now.
Fluffy: A good idea Tabby, I hope I don't have any catmares after that film.
Nera: Just wait until I make my next film
Tabby: But next time do a commercial for cat food - How can I tell the cat next door that my sister had the star role in a Hollywood film as a werewolf.